In this day and age we are surrounded by an abundance of mentors. They come in every shape and form. They pop up in videos, movies, song lyrics or in books. Some are experts we have never met who can appear to give us instant advice. Perhaps we meet them in person, through the Internet, or from somewhere far across the globe. Sometimes, a wise mentor, guide or magical helper appears along our life journey in a form we least expect. This evening, I met a host of wise mentors while walking a labyrinth near my home.

Before I set foot on the labyrinth, I paused as I usually do. I breathed deeply, closed my eyes and opened my mind and heart to whatever gift of knowledge, insight or emotion I was about to receive. And then I began walking… slowly. Loosely focusing on the wind of the first turn, I suddenly noticed my surroundings within my peripheral vision. The labyrinth was sprinkled with little brown orbs all along the stone walk and near the bushes skirting the large labyrinth circle.

Snails! Helix Pomatia! Escargot!

I had not even noticed them before. I stopped in my tracks and observed. Then slowly, doing a 360 turn, I saw them everywhere! Hundreds of them! I even saw a few in the labyrinth itself, making their own hero’s journey. I no longer felt alone there. I was amidst a whole colony of air-breathing land terrestrials! I couldn’t help but laugh!

Can they see me, I wondered? What are they whispering to each other? Large and small, I imagined families. Parents schooling their little gastropod mollusks. Discoveries being made. Lessons learned. I continued my walk to the center of the rain washed labyrinth, thinking on the symbolism of snails.

Right away, I thought of snails as slow, steady, humble and benevolent creatures, much like turtles, which I so dearly love. They exemplify deliberation, perseverance and protection of providence. Like turtles, snails carry their houses upon their backs, and therefore, are symbols of self-sufficiency. Because they seal themselves in their shells during the winter and dry periods, re-emerging in the spring, snails could be also be viewed as symbols of death and rebirth.

As I reached the center of the labyrinth, I paused to meditate more on the curves and turns of their shells. The shape of the snail’s shell is often associated with symbolism of the spiral. How fitting to find them among the winding paths of the labyrinth, or along the outside as if they were orbiting the heavenly body of the earth or the sun itself.

What do spirals represent, I pondered?  I could almost hear the silky whispers from the colony surrounding me. “Cycles,” came a whisper. “Expansion” and “Contraction,” a couple more bellowed. “Mystery” and “Change,” some telepathically chanted. “Evolution” and “Continuity,” others wisely argued. “Beneficial spirals twirl to the right while destructive ones twirl to the left,” a long, studious snail seemed to distinctly and resolutely answer.

Do treasures and wisdom lie at the center of their spiral houses, I wondered, or do nightmares, Minotaurs, or other beasts dwell within?

Bending into a low squat, I followed the journey of one little fellow sharing the walk with me. Snails, I discovered, are indeed telepathic. It must be their antenna. Though I did not say it out loud, in my mind, as I watched his slippery little body inch its way along the path leaving a trail of shiny slime in its wake, I thought, YUCK.

And then I heard it, even past my own deaf ears: “I am not ‘YUCK’,’” he rightfully asserted. “I am as much a part of the natural world as you.”

He was right. Slippery, slimy snails are a part of it all. They are a part of us. We are One.

With a quick change of mind and heart, I bowed humbly in reply, “You are welcome here, little master.”

How fortunate for me that these snails seemed to magically appear on my winding labyrinth walk this evening, as if purposefully placed to be wise mentors along my journey at this point in my life.

The wisdom the snails gave to me this evening was this: That I cannot be at one with nature unless I am at one with ALL of nature, and being at one with ALL nature “out there” is a metaphor for being at one with ALL of my own internal nature. If I can’t enjoy my own garden unless it is free of pests, unless each leaf and flower is perfect, I will never enjoy my garden. Similarly, if I cannot accept myself because of my flaws and failings, or if I cannot accept myself as worthy of significance, belonging, abundance and love unless I am perfect, I will never enjoy my SELF.

That little wise snail reminded me of the importance self-love and acceptance, of significance and belonging, of being really comfortable with myself and loving myself just as I am.

When the student is ready, the master will appear. ~ Buddhist Proverb

Deaf, Meaning, Miscellaneous, My Story, Spiritual | No Comments »

‎“…and I found god in myself and I loved her…I loved her fiercely.” ~ Ntozake Shange ~

For Colored Girls is a deep, intense and passionate movie loaded with profoundly emotional scenes and searing poetic monologues exploring what is to be of color and a woman in this world. Based on Ntozake Shange‘s original, award-winning play (full title: “For colored girls who have considered suicide / When the rainbow is enuf”), the movie tackles all the big issues that impact women in general: rape, infidelity,  domestic violence, murder, mental illness, loneliness, sexism, sex, gender orientation, men/women relationships, mother/daughter relationships, sibling relationships, abandonment, religion, abortion, money, class, work…

This film is full of stellar performances by a formidable ensemble with each character represented by a color of the rainbow: Jo/Red (Janet Jackson), Juanita/Green (Loretta Devine), Yasmine/Yellow (Anika Noni Rose), Tangie/Orange (Thandie Newton), Alice/White (Whoopi Goldberg), Gilda/Gray (Phylicia Rashad), Crystal/Brown (Kimberly Elise), Nyla/Purple (Tessa Thompson), Kelly/Blue (Kerry Washington), and Rose (Macy Gray). For Colored Girls is a movie that will split you wide open and leave you raw. It is both alarming and wonderful to behold. It is a must-see cultural film. I highly recommend it. Bring a box of Kleenex. You will weep.

My viewing experience:

I sat in the back of a room full of women… deaf women like me… deaf rainbow women of every color, shape and age… deaf women watching… deaf women wondering… deaf women gritting their teeth… deaf women clenching their chests… deaf women holding their breath… deaf women squeezing their own faces in horror… deaf women trembling… deaf women holding themselves… deaf women reaching out to touch each other… deaf women left naked and raw… deaf women softly weeping…

deaf women telling their stories… eyes upon hands flying through the air… attentively witnessing wrenched and wet faces… eyes burning… heads nodding… hearts swelling… deaf women interconnected… deaf women knowing… deaf women with closed fists affirming our worth and unity in a collective rainbow of YES!

deaf women attending… deaf women embracing… deaf women driving home in tears and left silent, without words… deaf women laying in their beds, awake in the dark… remembering… aching…  deaf women rebirthing… deaf women bathed in compassion for the themselves and other deaf women… deaf women fiercely loving the Divine Feminine within… deaf women softly weeping…

(* Heartfelt thanks to CUPED, DCARA and Deaf-Hope for their collaboration to host this profound film and a Ladie’s Night Out ~ 4/22/11.)

 

ASL - Sign Language, Colors, Deaf, Grief, Love, Meaning, Miscellaneous, Spiritual, Support | 3 Comments »

“In the beginning all creatures were green and vital.

They flourished amidst flowers.”
~ Hildegard of Bingen

It is Spring time, the time of greening. One of my favorite authors, the 11th Century Christian mystic and abbess Hildegard of Bingen, wrote of life’s “greening power.” She called this “Veriditas,” which in its literal Latin translation partners the words Green and Truth. Verditas describes the divine healing power of nature and man, “the divine freshness that makes human creativity and fruitfulness possible.”  Hildegard was the ultimate ecologist of her day. She felt that we, as humans, are an ‘earth’ with our own “moistness, verdancy and germinating power.” She believed we were co-creators containing the juice of creation within our souls. Her primary message to us all was to: “ stay juicy, wet, green and moist.” In doing so, we would bloom and flourish, fight injustice, heal the earth and save the entire cosmos!

It has been raining for weeks in my neck of the woods. However, where I live, the sun shines more than it rains. The marriage of these two elements at this time of year always brings out the deep luster of green in the rolling hills that skirt the edge of my town. These days it’s all about GREENING. A short drive through Niles Canyon or over the Sunol Grange can instantly transport me to some verdant land of Pan, or bright-green glen in the countryside of Ireland. Today, as I drove my son to his school which is nestled in the bosom of the foothills near Mission Peak, I imagine I am visiting Tir Nan Og, the mythical Celtic Isle of the Blessed, all green and full of flowers. What’s more, with the sun playing peek-a-boo amid the liquid gray clouds, rainbows seem to grace our sky a little more often these days.

Oh, come on…. when are rainbows not good?! While I can’t say I’ve had the wild-freak-courage to go chasing tornadoes like my daring friend Osh, I can say I once took a serious scientific quest to look for the rainbow’s end.

It was the late Spring of my third grade year. We had just transplanted ourselves from the hot Central Valley of California to the wet mists of Olympia, Washington. While rain and rainbows were not new to my younger brother Martin and I, their frequency was compelling and our curiosity about rainbows, in general, peaked.

Martin and I used to hike around in the greenbelt around our home in Tanglewild. We would go on little adventures back in the days when parents let their kids roam free. I recall a time when my restless brother, then about 7 years old, had his nose pressed to the living room window begging for the rain to stop. He wanted to go out and play. It seemed like we could never go outside anymore because of the rain. However, that day, Martin was keeping watch. The moment the rain stopped and the sun peeked out, he made sure we knew about it. As his ally, I joined him in earnest pleas as we begged Mama to let us go outside to play until she finally agreed.

We made a mad dash for the door, grabbing our required coats and new polka dotted umbrellas, and out we went. No sooner than we reached the sidewalk, we spotted one of the most beautiful rainbows we’d ever seen! We stood there in awe of it for a few minutes before my imaginative little brother came up with the idea to go searching for a pot of gold at the rainbow’s end.

Martin was so excited! He kept telling me how we were going to be rich! I, however, was more interested in the science of rainbows and hoped to prove that one could indeed find the end of a rainbow and stand in its rays, bathing in technocolored glory. I wanted to wear it’s multicolored plumage and prance around like a peacock. At that age, I was beginning to understand that the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause were not what I thought them to be. A 9 or 10 year old wants to know how stuff really works. While we still hold onto a little magic, we become more curios about the science and reality of things. My mother knew this well because it was the same year, or close to it, that she sat me down to have “the big talk” about the Birds and the Bees.

So off we went, Martin and I, stomping our way through the muddy greenbelt full of small, newly planted pine trees near our home. We could see the ground steaming from the sun that was baking the wet earth. There, right in front of us was the rainbow. We saw it so clearly. We followed it farther and farther ahead, but always just out of reach. Martin kept saying, “It’s just behind that tree!” or “It’s over there, just behind that rock!” But the illusive rainbow kept moving. Martin rationalized that if we ran faster we could catch it, but I could never run as fast as my little brother and I could hardly keep up.

We were both quite frustrated because we always felt we were soooo close! We seriously wanted to believe it was possible to find. Eventually though, we had to stop because we were getting too far away from home and the sky was growing dark again with more rain clouds. Admitting defeat was not fun to do, but before we did, we had to discuss the science of it all. We knew the sun had something to do with it because the rainbow would disappear when the sun went behind a cloud and then show up again when it peeked back in. There is nothing like hands on learning.

We headed back a bit disappointed, but a little wiser from our adventure. Before we left the greenbelt at the edge of our street, we turned back around to see that the sun had come out again. We could see the rainbow breaking through the trees, and wondered if a little Leprechaun sat on the end somewhere mocking us. While he didn’t come back rich in gold, we came back richer for the quest.

I love rainbows. They remind me of wide-eyed innocence and of seeking to find. They bring back memories of my younger brother and our youth, adventures and discoveries. Rainbows are so often tied in with images of the earth steaming, breathing and greening.

As Hildegard would say, “Stay wet folks! Keep it green!”

 

Colors, Family, Meaning, Miscellaneous | 5 Comments »