Join LaRonda as she compares present times at DeafRead with “The Time of the Bear.” A time of hibernation. A time to seek balance and be rejuvenated by the source of all life. LaRonda plays her peace drum to honor this sacred time of aligning ourselves with bear energy. May we all find the balance needed to reenter and continue successfully in the v/blogoshpere.

Transcript:

Hi. Pretty cute, huh? That’s my son’s bear. I just noticed it laying there and it got me thinking and mulling things over. You know what? I think that DeafRead, in it’s present time, is going through “The Time of the Bear.”

It’s true. How, you may ask?

You know, when we first notice a bear, we are at first struck with its’ large size, strength and power. Our tendency is to focus on those physical attributes. That stuffed teddy bear is cute and sweet, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m thinking about the big bears, and what stands out when we notice them. When we see them, we are often awe-struck!

Well, I believe DeafRead has similar traits to a big, strong, powerful bear. We are first a large mass of people who have gathered in this space, forming a large, powerful and strong body.

About Bears:

1. Bears love adventure and set out on quests. They hunt and wait for the biggest fish they can scoop up and savor.

2. They follow their noses as they seek out the variety of flavors and scents in the world.

3.They love the taste of honey, and often brave angry bees to indulge in the sweet taste of life.

Well, DeafRead certainly has some similarities to bears.

1. Often, each of us seek out the best and biggest “fish.” We want to scoop it up and find that “big topic,” “good point” or “awesome post” that we can savor.

2. As a diverse d/Deaf community, we often bring a variety of flavors to the v/blogosphere. We each have different likes and tastes. We go around DeafRead sampling v/blog posts, looking for new or interesting flavors.

3. Like bears, we often brave those “angry bees” in order to find “that which is as delicious” to our minds and bodies, like honey.

Taking this “bear time” thinking a little deeper, I begin to ponder “hibernation.” We know that each year, bears must find a quiet, warm, safe, womblike environment to let their physical bodies rest while their spirits enters the dreamtime. Why do they do this? Because their bodies must find the balance they need to rejuvenate, reenter and continue successfully in the world.

To me, it’s as if DeafRead is now in a season of hibernation. Some people have left or withdrawn. Maybe it’s time for them to seek balance and find what’s important to their hearts and souls. They realize, for whatever reason, the balance is off. They now seek clarity and time to focus on that which really matters.

Bears can guide us deeper into our experience of life. They help us understand that there is a season to enter the dreamtime where we can travel in the realm of the spirit and be rejuvenated by the source of all life.

Then, after traveling through this time, mentally digesting and learning from our experiences, we can come out of hibernation. We can reenter and continue thriving in the world, carrying our renewed energy with us as we move through our days ahead.

It’s important to note that bears do not stay in hibernation forever. Yet, they stay long enough to find what’s important and recreate their vision. It’s the same way with many of us at DeafRead. I hope, really hope, that people will come out of hibernation.

Right now at DeafRead, it is a very sacred time. It’s not dark, ugly or awful. No. It’s sacred. It’s a time of awakening. People are saying, “This place of anger, wars and hostility is not what I want. This is not how I want to live.”

I applaud them. I think it’s farout! Yes, go find the balance. And then, hopefully, after a time of healing and rejuvenation, you’ll come back, and enter the d/Deaf v/blogosphere once again.

(LaRonda plays her peace drum to honor this sacred time.)

LaRonda and Bear: Bye (ILY wave)

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Transcript below

Transcript:

Hello. My trip to Yosemite is almost over and done. I wanted to let you know about an interesting fact. When you enter any National Park there is an entry fee. Yes, it’s true, and you must have a Park Pass that you show the ranger when you enter the park.

My husband was ready to buy us a Family Pass that would cost $80 for one year. That pass would allow you to enter any National Park throughout the United States. Well, we drove up to the park entrance where the ranger station was and my husband began talking to the ranger about the pass. But, I interrupted using sign language and asked if being Deaf would get us a discount.

The woman ranger looked at me. My voice was off while signing. She looked at me more and said, “Oh, are you deaf?”

I answered, “Yes.”

She asked, “Is your disability permanent?”

I smiled and nodded, “Yes. It’s permanent. It won’t get better. I won’t hear again. No, it’s permanent.”

She responded, “No problem,” and then she gave me a FREE National Park Pass for LIFE!! Yes, for Life! Not one or two years, but for Life! That means I can now enter any National Park anywhere in the United States, and enter FREE. In addition, the people traveling in my car with me are also FREE. How cool is that?!

If you don’t know this already, go to any national park office and get your free park pass. It’s so cool! This means that being Deaf has its perks!

Bye! (ILY wave)

ASL - Sign Language, Deaf, Family, Miscellaneous, Video Clips | 10 Comments »

At a class reunion a few years ago, an old friend of mine admitted that she had been uncomfortable around me after I became Deaf because she didn’t know if we could still communicate, and if we did, she was afraid that she might offend me by saying the wrong thing. I asked her what she meant and she further explained.

Photo by: Lou

“I know some people don’t like the word handicapped and I don’t think of you in that way. But, well… you can sort of read my lips, but you can’t hear me anymore. So, what do I call you? I mean… do you prefer to be called disabled or hearing impaired or what?”

I raised an eyebrow and smiled half way.

“Oh shoot! See? I’m already goofing up! I don’t want to offend you so what do I call you now?”

I took a breath and looked compassionately at my friend as she struggled to figure me out. I had once felt the same struggle to figure out just who was after I had become Deaf at 17. It had taken me many years to arrive at the place of self-acceptance, the place where I could claim my “Deaf” identity with joy, pride and passion. I understood her anxiety and her struggle.

Still, I knew that what was important was that she respected me as a person first, a friend, and not look at me with any perceived impairment, disability or handicap. Like other Deafies, I abhor those labels. While thinking about how to respond to her, I remembered the movie, “I am Sam.” (Dir. Jessie Nelson. New Line Cinema, 2001)

In the movie “I am Sam”, the main character, Sam, (Portrayed by Sean Penn) is an adult man with a developmental disability who is fighting for the right to parent his own daughter. In the beginning, an insensitive attorney says to Sam:

“I need that list of names from you—people who can testify that you’re a good father despite your handicap. I didn’t mean your handicap, I meant your disability. [shakes her head] The fact that you’re retarded. That’s not the right word. [exasperated] I don’t know what to call you!

To which Sam replies: Sam. You can call me Sam.

Like this Lawyer, my friend was struggling to find the appropriate terminology to use when referring to me. I gave her credit for at least asking me what term I preferred.

“How about just calling me your friend, LaRonda,” I suggested. “And, if you need a term to define me, then just call me Deaf.”

Photo by: ronmarshalo74

I understood that my friend was searching for the most widely-accepted terminology and trying to avoid potentially offensive labels. The problem today is that many people, especially in our Deaf World, prefer different terms. Some folks get very upset about certain terminology, while others simply don’t care.

Equally, some people get very upset about accessibility barriers and lash out at those responsible while others are very patient, appreciative and supportive of people and organizations that are trying to fix or remove those barriers. Some folks like to educate people about accessibility issues and really appreciate the opportunity to talk about what it means to be Deaf, hard of hearing, late-deafened, deaf-blind, use a Cochlear Implant, or have a hearing loss, while others simply prefer not to bring it up at all.

I believe my friend, like many other hearing people, meant well, even though her labels and incorrect assumptions stung. I’m glad she invited me to clear up those assumptions and false stereotypes.

Even us Deafies need to remember that other people who are d/Deaf have different preferences in how they define themselves. Just because one person prefers to be identified one way doesn’t mean that another person will also prefer to be labeled in that way.

Common sense would say it’s safe to use “people-first” language when referring to d/Deaf folks. People-first language means putting the person first and being d/Deaf second. Yet, for those of us who identify ourselves as culturally Deaf, to be Deaf is our identity and we are Deaf first and foremost.

Photo by: Voj

I guess, when unsure, it is wisest to ask the person directly what terminology he or she prefers. And, when we are asked, we must be compassionate with the asker, as well as clear.

“I’m Deaf,” I said again to my friend.I love being Deaf. You don’t have to dance around the word by using what you think is a more politically correct term such as “hearing impaired” or “disabled.” Those words are actually less accurate and more annoying. I’m am LaRonda and I am Deaf. Just call me “Deaf.”

Deaf, Hearing Loss, Late-Deaf, Meaning, Miscellaneous | 13 Comments »