An ASL message about releasing victim mentality and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Transcript:

Hello.

We all have those days when it seems more bad things happen than good things, right? It feels like life just isn’t fair. Maybe we get stuck in traffic and it makes us late for an important meeting. Then when we’re done with that meeting, we return to find that our car has been towed away! It can be awful.

It’s hard to stay positive and feel grateful during those bad times. Those times can really test us. Often, in those situations, we have ourselves a “pity party.” That’s when we spill out our sob stories to all our friends, families and co-workers over and over and seek their sympathy. We go on and on about all the bad things that have happened to us, but in the end, we become more stuck.

Dwelling on those bad times doesn’t really help us feel any better. If we chose to write down our feelings or stories in a journal, but we go on and on and on about them, it doesn’t really help us change our situation.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important not to deny our feelings when we feel awful. It’s important to find a way to express those feelings and get them out in some way. Chatting with someone we trust or writing our thoughts down in our journals is important. It’s much better than holding things in. We need to process our thoughts in some way. But the key is not getting stuck in the “poor me” mentality where we start feeling sorry for ourselves.

Instead, it’s okay to find a safe place, a person who you trust, such as a family member or friend to share your feelings with. Or, writing them in a journal is fine too. But the key is to set a time limit. When we are done expressing our hardships, we need to release the negativity and let it go. When we stay in that stuck place, or go on and on about our miserable plight, that’s called having a “pity party.” It doesn’t really help.

It’s hard to feel grateful or see all the good things that are happening in life, or in our everyday experiences. It’s important to release those feelings of being a victim. It only makes us feel more powerless, which is not what we want. The key is to express your feelings and then release them. Only then can we move on. This will help you feel more strong and positive.

Bye (ILY Wave)

Posted by LaRonda on Saturday, January 17th, 2009 at 12:09 pm.