Join LaRonda as she compares her journey of Deafhood to that of the character, Lt. John Dunbar (played by Kevin Costner) in the film: Dances with Wolves.

Dances with Wolves is one of my favorite films. I love it, not only for it’s breathtaking cinematography, but also because Kevin Costner made the film as authentic as possible, honoring Lakota Souix language and beliefs. Costner cast only Native Americans as Indians, and the Sioux speak their own language, Lakota (with subtitles), instead of English.

The film’s main character, Lt. John Dunbar (Costner) goes through an enculturation experience in this story which I find similar to my own journey of Deafhood.

In the beginning of the movie, Lt. John Dunbar establishes himself as a hero in the calvary by providing a diversion so that a group of Union soldiers can overcome an entrenched Rebel position. In my own story, I look back to see how I established myself as a heroine in my own tale. In the hearing world, I was a leader, a talented vocal musician, decorated with many awards and honors, and a social butterfly.

In the movie, Dunbar experiences a grave injury to his foot and ankle. The doctors were planning an amputation. Dunbar felt hopeless and preferred losing his life to living without a leg. In my personal tale, 27 years ago at the age of 17, I suffered a serious illness (Toxic Shock Syndrome) and lost all sound as a result of medication side effects. When I realized the sudden loss was profound and permanent, I felt hopeless too, and I did not know how to go on in life unable to hear.

But both Dunbar and I were brave and we persisted in spite of our injuries. Because of his bravery, Dunbar was offered a station anywhere he wanted. He chose the frontier, so he could see it before it was gone. In my story, I learned of Gallaudet while taking ASL classes, and to me, this was my frontier. I decided to head East to our nation’s capital, so I could adventure and find myself in this uncharted territory.

When Dunbar arrives to Ft. Sedgewick, he finds the place different than what he expected. It was deserted. Nevertheless, he resolves to obey his orders and sets about putting things right and solving the mystery of this new place. In my tale, I traveled East to Gally in 1984 as a Special Visiting Student for 1 semester. Upon arriving, I set about trying to unlock the mystery of this Deaf World, while trying to find if this was the place where I belonged. It was my call to adventure!

For over a month, Dunbar is alone at Fort Sedgewick. His only companions are a friendly wolf that he names Two Socks and his faithful mount, Cisco. I traveled to Gally with 1 hearing friend, Sara, who was also a Special Visiting Student at that time, and I became good friends with one of my Deaf roommates, T.C. One friend kept me tethered to my former hearing world, while the other helped me step into new Deaf territory. Like Dunbar’s frontier adventure, my time at Gallaudet was full of personal self-exploration. We both asked ourselves deep questions during this time:

Dunbar: Who am I as this soldier?
LaRonda: Who was I as a hearing person?
Dunbar: Who am I when I strip myself of this uniform?
LaRonda: Who am I now, stripped as my former hearing self?
Dunbar: What does it mean to be alive?
LaRonda: What does it mean to be Deaf?
Dunbar & LaRonda: Why am I here? Who am I really? Where do I belong?

The movie kicks into high gear with the arrival of the Sioux, led by the thoughtful Kicking Bird (Graham Greene) and the tempestuous Wind in His Hair (Rodney A. Grant). At first, there is mutual distrust between Dunbar and the Souix. I think this was true for me in the beginning of my Gallaudet experience as well. My Deaf peers and I wondered about each other as we tried to figure out just who we were exactly and what we were about.

Yet, as Dunbar and I interacted with our new neighbors, we began to communicate, each learning the other’s language and ways. As a result, we formed a bond. With every passing day, Dunbar and I found ourselves more and more infatuated with the Sioux and Deaf way of life.

Each day, Dunbar and I became more fluent in the language of these people, and more acclimated to the environment and culture of our new friends. We both learned about our roles within the Souix and Deaf nations, and we learned what was accepted behavior within those societies. Most importantly, we each embraced the lifestyle and fell in love with these people who adopted us as their own.

Eventually, Dunbar leaves Fort Sedgewick and moves into the Sioux camp. He falls in love with Stands with a Fist, becomes a respected member of the tribe with his own Sioux name (“Dances With Wolves”), and for a while, he is able to forget the life he left behind. This is how it was for me as well. The more fluent I became in ASL, the more enculturated I became with the ways and beliefs of Deaf people, the easier it was for me to leave my former “hearing” self.

Gradually, I was adopted into the Deaf World and became a respected member of this tribe. I dove further in the culture, behavior and language of Deaf people, and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Deaf Studies and a Masters in Counseling Deaf. I have made it my life-work and life-path being in and of the Deaf nation.

When Fort Sedgewick is garrisoned, Dunbar’s fellow soldiers find him: an out-of-uniform officer “gone Injun.” This is how my hearing friends and family now see me. An ex-hearie “gone Deaf.”

What I love most about this movie is how Dunbar realizes that he doesn’t want to go back to his “white-man” ways. Like Dunbar, I have found my place, my tribe, my people. I can no longer think of myself as hearing. I died in a fire and rose from the ashes. I know my heart and I know my place. I am Deaf – with a capital D. Deaf people are my people. My place is with you. I go where you go. The white man the soldiers were looking for in Lt. Dunbar, and the hearing person I once was, no longer exists. Now there is only a Sioux named Dances With Wolves, and only LaRonda (“L” on her cheek) who is Deaf and proud.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the movie that hold special meaning to me as an enculturated Deaf person. Read them and think of the Sioux and Deaf as one in the same:

John Dunbar: As I heard my Sioux name called out [signed] over and over, I knew who I really was.

John Dunbar: They were a people so eager to laugh, so devoted to family, so dedicated to each other. The only word that comes to mind is harmony.

John Dunbar: [to his army captors who are interrogating him, in Lakota] My name is Dances with Wolves. I will not talk to you anymore. You are not worth talking to.

Another memorable quote from the movies reminds me of how we as a Deaf people continue to fight for our rightful place:

Ten Bears: [in Lakota] The white men who wore this came around the time of my grandfather’s grandfather. Eventually we drove them out. Then the Mexicans came. But they do not come here any more. In my own time, the Texans. They have been like all the others. They take without asking. But I think you are right. I think they will keep coming. When I think of that, I look at this helmet. I don’t know if we are ready for these people. Our country is all that we have, and we will fight to keep it.

But, my favorite quote of this entire movie is this:

Kicking Bird: I was just thinking that of all the trails in this life there is one that matters most. It is the trail of a true human being. I think you are on this trail and it is good to see.

This is how I want to live my life as a Deaf person. A life of truth. Personal truth. I choose to travel the path with the heart. I choose to Dance with Wolves.

Posted by LaRonda on Sunday, May 11th, 2008 at 11:51 am.