Midlife is not a crisis. It’s a time of rebirth; a time to reawaken sensual life energy and to reclaim our right to pleasure and passion! I’m a Deaf Woman in Midlife, and I’ve decided to embrace it!
One way I have been living a more sensual life is by joining Y! Live Chat/DeafRead on Friday nights, which has been dubbed by us deafies as “Flirtatious Fridays.” While there are a few chatters that may feel a bit uncomfortable with the heady sensuality and roguish innuendos that takes place among us deafies there, most of us recognize that the freedom to express ourselves sensuously, flirtatiously, humorously and emotionally feels downright GOOD! It is not our intention to offend. Nor is it our intension to set up secret trysts or rendezvous with our d/Deaf peeps. We have only one rule among us — NO affairs! To support this, we sometimes pull in our partners and spouses to join in the sensual fun, thus sharing the lighthearted intimacy and jocularity with the ones we love. I am fortunate to have a healthy relationship with my husband who has heartily enjoyed the stories of my banana-eating antics on Y! Live, especially when I repeat it just for him. 
Historically, d/Deaf folks have had way too many people (both hearing and Deaf) telling us how we should think, where we should go to school, how we should behave, communicate, and be. As a Deaf Woman at Midlife, I have earned the right to finally declare that I won’t steal one more minute of my life living for other people’s expectations! I’m choosing to live authentically, as I define myself. I choose to live for ME!
I intend to age with JOY, intimacy, sensuality, an open heart, and whole-souled loveliness! I choose to reach out, inspire and touch others deeply because I believe, passionately, what I send out to the world comes back to me. I frequent Y! Live Chat/DeafRead because it is my intension to commune with others in whatever way they wish to be. In midlife, I am gingerly peeling away the stereotypes of wrinkles, sagging body parts, memory gaps, broken hearts and suffering. Instead, I am proving that midlife can be vibrant, vivacious and voluptuous! I choose to LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE! With steadfast, gentle determination, I choose what I will allow into my thoughts and days, and with a breathy kiss, what I will gently blow away.
At midlife, I’m letting go of perfect, or the belief that I am not an honorable or worthy woman unless I am denying myself pleasure or suffering. Phooey! I will not worry about there or then because I choose to be deeply alive and present, living for my own heart, in the here and now. I choose not to drink, smoke or hurt my body, mind or soul as they are precious to me. I choose to exercise my muscles, attitude and heart so they stay loose, flexible, and do not constrict. I want to open my mouth, inhale deeply and puckishly laugh at the pleasures of life! I choose to stay green and wet rather than whither and dry up! It is my intension to remain open and receptive rather than closed and guarded, while knowing I have the ultimate choice in what I give and receive.
I want to live like Henry David Thoreau — deliberately…deeply…sucking out the marrow of life!
Wonderful! I know Jodi would LOVE this :o)
I will turn 43 in two months and in my last 43 years I have been many things… many labels…etc. Only on DeafRead the labels are more strong, by other people, out of fear and ignorance.
Fear and ignorance… they are just words. In facts, all labels are just words. Be free to define who I am… free yourself! :o)
Yup, midlife is nice… it is in our power to make it possible. Be my whole person… the word “deaf” does not make me complete… I am complete without all words and labels…
Left by Karen Mayes on March 8th, 2008
I really loved this post. I turned fifty this past year and put my youngest in college. We don’t quite have an empty nest yet, because our oldest “boomeranged” back home. I never realized what a NICE time of life this would be. TRULY. I’m enjoying it way more than I ever expected. What’s so surprising is it seems as if the world has suddenly opened up for me now that my kids are grown. I have so much freedom. Finally I have time to spend on things I’m interested in. This has become a time of rediscovery, which is maybe why I joined DeafRead, and enrolled in the college ASL classes, and meditating with a guru and belly dancing and taking drum lessons. . . . I have this need to try new things and do, do, do. And yes– I DO feel sexy in a weird kind of way because I’m so much more comfortable in my skin than I used to be. I love sex and I love young men. Because they smell so damned good. And I also like off-the-wall sleazy humor. Too bad I can’t sign very well yet. You’re just a young’un. You have so much to look forward to. See?
Hugs
Left by kim on March 8th, 2008
The bananas and…the oranges…:-) love the quote by Henry David Thoreau at the end. So true! I thought you were younger than me. I guess you do take care of your body.
Left by todoslavie on March 8th, 2008
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Left by DeafPulse.com - the one-stop pulse for all Deaf-related news and blogs. on March 9th, 2008
A woman after my heart!
Great post!
Unfortunately, Friday nights are not available for me as the computer lab is closed then. However, I will not let that stop me from living my life to the fullest then at Gally :D.
Have fun as always!
Left by Oscar Serna on March 9th, 2008
[…] wrote a titillating and sexily sensual article about .. having fun! She doesn’t drink (like me), but she still knows how to have a good […]
Left by Sexy and Fun-Lovin’ Women on DeafRead | Paotie’s Green Couch | Crumblings of Things on March 9th, 2008
Be have, you were just “feeling warm” on a certain Friday and I merely pushed ur buttons and as from you, LOL. No need to justify that! Well, you’ll get thru it on your own somehow.
Left by drmzz on March 9th, 2008
This post was remarkably spiritual, poetic, sensual and downright important. You are beautiful. Jodi
Left by Jodi on March 9th, 2008
Yeah, we enjoyed our chat last Friday. We agreed with La Ronda’s “flirting rule” and we enjoyed it very much. Our life is so beautiful!
Vote LaRonda for Treasurer! (just teasing!)
Left by KoalaKona on March 9th, 2008
Hmm, I will have to try that room…show me the way!
Left by Patty on March 9th, 2008
LaRonda,
Your timing is impeccable with this: “I choose not to drink, smoke or hurt my body, mind or soul as they are precious to me. I choose to exercise my muscles, attitude and heart so they stay loose, flexible, and do not constrict.”
When we don’t do these constricting things, the midlife experience becomes more pleasurable and wholesome, allowing us to rediscover our youth.
You wrote a very perceptive post that defied the elements that can make midlife a crisis, and the words diffused the “midlife experience” into something more flirtatiously richer, in the abodes of sensuality ready to spoon us all into dreamlike state of mind.
That is what makes marriages a beautiful thing. And, your point proved that midlife can be a vibrant, vivacious and voluptuous one fell swoop of bliss of sexiness.
Chocolate syrup, anybody? With a titillating ooze of cherry?
Left by John Critser on March 10th, 2008
Warning on label:
You may spend all day feeling your heartbeat thumping furiously, the pulse following the maddenly sensuality emitted from your pheromones that turns the midlife into the highest peak you can attain.
Left by John Critser on March 10th, 2008