I happened to discover a blog post at Evolving Times entitled: Can Gray Whales Teach Humans About Forgiveness? It was about how the relationship between gray whales and humans began to transform once the nearly extinct, hunted whales were given protection. The story goes like this:
“In the 1800s these whales were referred to as Devil Fish because of their ferociousness when hunted. And no wonder: One of the methods used to ensure the capture of adult female gray whales was to harpoon their calf first. The whalers knew that a mother would not abandon her calf even if it was dead. In this way the whalers successfully hunted a mother and a calf.
You can hardly blame the female gray whales for acting in this manner towards the whaling boats.
But after the US and Mexican governments began protecting these whales and a few decades had passed an interesting thing happened. Mexican fisherman began reporting that some of the gray whales would come right up to their boats. Some of them would bring their young. And there were even reports of whales coming up and allowing their heads to be scratched by the fisherman.
So in just a few decades these “Devil Fish” had transformed into gentle, curious creatures who liked having their heads scratched by fisherman.
And here we humans are, the supposedly more intelligent species, still hanging on to cultural resentments and hatred from events that occurred hundreds and even thousands of years ago…. And in our own individual lives we hold onto “wrongs” done to us years and decades ago often by people who are no longer living.
Is it possible for us to learn about forgiveness from the gray whales?
What has allowed them to forgive us for the cruelty we inflicted upon them? Have they merely forgotten? Or is their essential, peaceful, nature stronger than any resentment, fear and anger they may have felt?”
Can you see the parallels from this story above to the d/Deaf community living in a hearing world? At the end of this post, the author asks the following essential question that can be applied to us d/Deaf people:
“Are there wounds in your own life that you are keeping alive long after the source of the wound has gone?”
I want to believe that we, as diverse d/Deaf people, have the capacity to forgive decades of past hurts like the benevolent gray whales have done. I want to believe that our human ability to forgive is also stronger than any resentment, fear or anger we have felt from years of oppression. I want to believe that, like these compassionate, aquatic giants, it is our human nature to love more readily than it is to hate.
Help me believe…
“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
I hate to say this but Japan is going at it with the slaughter of whales and dolphins. Very sad. Research has shown that eating their meat is highly toxic to humans.
For more information, go to this link:
http://www.bluevoice.org/sections/ocean/doltoxin.shtml
Left by Katherine on January 6th, 2008
Oh Katherine! That’s so sad to know. When we will learn???
It’s like that song, “Blowin’ in the Wind” by Peter, Paul and Mary, with each verse asking us in essense:
‘How many times are we going to do these horrible things before we learn that peace is the way to survival?’
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
certianly we can try to forgive..
however, we need to be realisitic here..there are currently too many problems and barriers in society tht should be removed so that we can participate as citizens wih equal rights..
for example, we need multi-state initiative to pass insurance coverage provisions for ASL or sign language tutoring services or some revisions with medicare provisions.
the list can go on and on…
Left by matt on January 6th, 2008
Matt,
Thanks for your comment and thoughts. While I understand your point, I’ve still got to ask: Is forgiveness simply unrealistic?
I think the quote at the bottom of my post makes a strong point:
By forgiving old wounds and releasing grudges, our energy is freed up to be put to better use. By forgiving and moving on, we can discover our strengths as compassionate human beings, and as a people. And yes, we can use this compassion in ways that seek to remove barriers and provide us with equal rights.
The whales did this by forgiving the cruelty inflicted upon them. Is it their nature to forgive and forget? I do not know. But I believe that Deaf people can forgive, even if they don’t forget.
The point is to move forward with energy that is full of compassion rather than weighted down by grudges and age-old wounds.
More thoughts???
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
Thanks for posting this! Forgiving isn’t easy but is the best medicine! =)
It’s a great reminder for everyone and me! Thanks again.
Left by Deb Ann on January 6th, 2008
Hi LaRonda,
I held on to some bitterness for many years that I won’t go into, but it was so painful inside. Then–two summers ago I was finally able to release. I’ve been in a healing phase since. Sometimes for our own health we need to let go and move on. In my case I realized the person who hurt me was much younger than I am now, and that person’s life was not easy. I was able to finally see that person from my adult perspective instead of from the child victim perspective I had been viewing from. Thank you for writing this beautiful, important blog.
Left by kim on January 6th, 2008
Good post. Lessons from natural species are always inspiring. Whales are cool. However, society has to forgive deaf people first. Inclusion of ASL, a public apology, and perhaps some real estate from U.S. Govt., then I’ll forgive.
Left by drmzz on January 6th, 2008
Hi Mike.
How about a side of fries and a large coke with that tall order, too? (wink)
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
Thanks Kim, for sharing your brief story. We all have much to heal.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
Deb Ann, you said it right. Forgiveness is good medicine. Native American’s use that term a lot: “good medicine” to mean whatever they are referring to is good for the spirit. Forgiveness is certainly that.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
Your post here reminded me of a quote I made up. No idea if it s a quote by others or I saw and forgot.
“Slow to anger, quick to forgive.”
Lovely post, as usual.
Left by cnkatz on January 6th, 2008
LaRonda, what smacks as irony is that many Native Americans are alcoholics
and live in poverty. Their land was stolen and where’s appreciation for what they did for animals and the environment. We ought follow by their example in today society but it is not happening at all.
When are people ever going to learn after repeating the same thing from one oppressed group to another for decades. Native Americans, Jews, Africans, Gay, Deafies and on it goes. Why are oppressed groups being taken for granted where their forgiveness is anticipated? Shouldn’t they learn from history not to impose on the next group. I thought with the power of forgiveness, it’ll put an end to a vicious cycle of oppression but apparently, it is not. These kind of people who I would call oppressors, are indifferent to the suffering of animals and people.
While forgiveness is more about being in peace with ourselves, I understand DRMZZ’s reluctance.
Left by Katherine on January 6th, 2008
Katherine,
I agree with you. Forgiveness is not easy when the cycle of oppression continues. But you found a golden nugget when you said:
“Forgiveness is about being in peace with ourselves.”
I imagine that’s the place to start.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
CK,
Your quote is biblical. Often cited in scripture, and often the things that newly married couples hear from their parents who have been successfully married for years.
It is such a simple concept to forgive, yet so hard for humans, especially those who have been oppressed, to do. The story of the gray whales just won my heart. I can’t help but want to know I am capable, as a human being, of the same kind of forgiveness and compassion that these noble creatures have shown. This story just really inspired me. Easy? Not. But truly worthy of a deep look at ourselves and how we want to live.
Thanks for your comment.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 6th, 2008
Forgiveness is my favorite theme and the most impacting one. I’m outspoken. I speak my thoughts, which comes from my heart. Sometimes my heart needs some shaping and molding, from the man upstairs.
As I go into my 40’s, forgiveness is very much of a healing process that is important to go through. People hold grudges, and won’t forgive, so sometimes we can’t do anything except let it be between that person and God.
God is greater than he that is in the world, and God is able to touch hearts in making hearts more pliable, more amicable, to allow the hearts of men and women to forgive. Not being able to forgive is like a cancer devastating your body, and unforgiveness quenches the spirit.
To be angry means we have not forgiven. Biblically, we are instructed not to be angry until the sun goes down. That scripture serves a good purpose, because when we stay angry, it becomes concrete and deeply rooted, the root of bitterness, that it becomes harder to pluck out. That is why the theme of forgiveness is very important in each and everyone’s lives. We should forgive 70 x 7, but there are lessons to be learned from.
The Bible is an awesome book that is a bestseller and has been around for centuries. In that book it talks about the power of the tongue, that brings “life or death.” My tongue is a problem, because of my outspokeness. Sometimes I speak without considering the consequences. I certainly would encourage people to speak their mind, but again, we have to be sensitive to the diversity of cultures, and change our approach. People do not easily forgive, that is one consequence. It will eat them up inside, if they refuse to forgive, eventually. That is one reason why forgiveness is something I embrace totally, because I want the simmering resentment, the bitterness, and disappointment to go away, and have a fresh new outlook no matter what the circumstances are.
Forgiveness has a lot of requirements, which is why it is so hard for many people to forgive those that have hurt their feelings. One requirement of forgiveness is to forget the past. Another requirement of forgiveness is to really forgive 100% without just forgiving on the surface, remembering all the past offenses and nodding it off. Forgiveness is reconciliation, that is love in overlooking the faults of another. Forgiveness is being able to hug and love the person, no matter what the status is. Another requirement of forgiveness is not to look back, which is the same as forgetting the past. Forgiveness is coming to terms with one another, and accepting who that person is.
Forgiveness is soft, and tender, not rude and with highminded ways. Forgiveness is acknowledging what we did wrong, and accepting the consequences, and just let forgiving one another take its’ course. Sometimes we have to forgive even if we did not do anything wrong, because it helps the other person to forgive.
Forgiveness has great healing power, because we feel so light and not so heavy-laden anymore. Our stomach is not tied in a knot anymore. Before we die, we want to forgive everybody, and be forgiven, so God will forgive us. Forgiveness brings a great testimony to everyone, because bitterness can linger for years, which isn’t funny. Unforgiveness is fueled by pride, and pride comes before the fall. Why is our pride so important? Because we feel we didn’t do anything wrong, that we are right and the other person is wrong? Are we beautiful with pride? No, ugliness stems from pride, from hate, and from unforgiveness. When one forgives, that person so shines, and becomes more radiant. A person can look deceptionally beautiful with pride, but when you take off the mask, all you see is a frown and pure hate with loathing. But a person who forgives, you can see the beauty all the way through.You can take off layers from layers and mask after mask, the beauty still radiates from that forgiving person.
It’s the peace that comes back to you.
Left by John Critser on January 6th, 2008
That’s why I love and cherish animals and are often upset at the horrible injustices humans have done to the animals of the earth and not realizing we are animals too.
Anyway, forgiving is not the same as forgetting…
I seem to get the message in some blogs that Deaf people or leaders should forget what happened with Oralism and move on from today.
I think its a bad idea to forget. But I agree that we need to let go of the learned helplessness and simply blaming on others for our demise, but to deny that the bad things did happen is a mistake, especially when the effects are still continuing and increasing nowadays.
69% of familes of Deaf school age children do not sign regularly. 40% of Deaf school age children are taught in the oral method ONLY. Another 40% are taught with a quasi language which is SimCom. Approx 80% or more kids are in hearing schools ALONE or no more than a total of 3 Deaf kids. 89% of teachers of Deaf children are not Deaf themselves. Etc etc. Those are serious consequences of the Oralism colonialism that are deeply affecting our confidence as a people to believe we are whole and healthy just who we are and with our natural language of signs.
Maybe we should start sharing some ideas of the differences of forgiveness and forgetting in working towards justice of Deaf people? That way we can have some concrete examples (and analysis)?
Left by Ella Mae Lentz on January 7th, 2008
Beautiful blog.
Yes, I believe we are able to forgive, but the question is are we able to forget? We might be quick to say we forgive and we are SLOW in forgetting. So I believe, from my experience, forgiving requires accepting and being willing to forget, starting over. Many people miss this part of accepting and forgetting. That is why many of us hold on to bitterness, that is why wars, feuds, etc. are made even though apologies are claimed to have been offered, etc.
As a group, it seems we have several disagreement of what oppression means, since many of us experience it while others of us have not experienced it. So forth… Being able to forgive as a group… is a different concept. That brings us to this subject of Jews and Nazis… were Jews be able to forgive people who participated in the attempted genocide of Jews? Of course, I am sure that jews forgave some degree but forget? Never. I am just posing a question if the forgiveness could be complete with being able to move past and to forget?
Beautiful blog… even though I do recall last year the Eskimos were granted a permit to hunt whales (I don’t know what kind of whales…) :o(
Left by Karen Mayes on January 7th, 2008
LaRonda!
Here I am!
Yeah, I agree with this. You know….hugs, hugs, hugs!
I love your blogsite and you have taught me some spirituality. I have learned a great deal from you.
Hugs,
White Ghost
Left by White Ghost on January 7th, 2008
Katherine, I guess there is some kind of resentment we must overcome. Baby steps, Laronda.
Left by drmzz on January 7th, 2008
John,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your last sentence was the most beautiful when you described forgiveness as the peace that comes back to you. I was awe-struck with that one.
By the way, been watching you comment for a while now and I would like to strongly suggest you design your own blog. You have a lot to say and much is worthy of it’s own space and attention. While your comments are packed with good stuff, there are some readers who will simply skip over it because of its length. Something you might want to consider.
Hugs.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 7th, 2008
White Ghost, Ella, and Mike,
Thanks for your thoughts. I like to inspire others, not turn them away. I don’t mean to be “sappy” or “syrupy” sweet with my topics, and I hope people don’t view me as shallow and naive. I speak from my heart and believe that in my own way, I can be an agent of change. Yes, baby-steps, Mike. True. True.
The author of the whale tale in the post above also questioned whether or not the whales were able to forget and forgive. We cannot know for sure. What we do seem to innately know is that as humans, we do not easily forget, and as Ella pointed out, it may be important not to forget.
Still, I want to believe we are as capable of such profound goodness, and that love is the way. I believe we can continue to make changes in the world for Deaf people when we work from a place of love rather than hate.
Thank you for your comments.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 7th, 2008
I agree with John Critser.
Left by Lisa C. on January 7th, 2008
LaRonda, thanks for your comments, they inspired me. You as an agent of change poses a good possibility that can change the lives of people who take to heart your writings. There are so many constructive ways that blogs can capture the readers’ hearts and bring conviction of change. I have been wanting to do a blog but am not tech-wise, so I have been trying to figure out how to do one lately. My goal is to do a blog in 2008, then maybe gradually do some vlogs if I am comfortable with that.
Ella, I would like to quote what you said that was noteworthy for all to read:
“Maybe we should start sharing some ideas of the differences of forgiveness and forgetting in working towards justice of Deaf people?”
Ella, you are right that in working towards justice of Deaf people, that we should not forget the injustice of the 1880 Milan conference, we must press towards the prize of our high calling–civil rights for the Deaf, and preservation of our language, ASL.
Forgiveness personally between two people are more profound than forgiveness between groups of people, who advocate for their own interests or interest of the people-at-large. We must protect our Deaf cultural heritage in preserving our language, ASL. We can forgive, but stand on our principles, and look towards the big picture and not allow others to detract us from the big picture. We can continue to advocate, and protest (i.e; against AGB), and make it clear to oralism advocates that they need to understand that ASL does not make us under-educated or deny us full access to communication, and make it clear to oralists that in short, the oralist method does not guarantee 100% full access to communication.
We can read ASL signs by looking straight forward with great reception skills, but the Deaf or HOH who prefer to listen to the spoken language, have to perk their ears and tilt their head sideways just to be able to listen, and often they ask “say what?” and that is not ideal.
Between two people whose hurts have been inflicted on each other, forgiveness is one component that helps begin the healing. We don’t forget right away, and it takes time for trust to build. The healing process is determined on how badly we want the peace to come back to us.
Left by John Critser on January 7th, 2008
Hi Karen.
Sorry to delay responding to your comment above. I was unable to think of anything profound in response. It is so difficult to think of what happened to Jews during the Nazi regime. I cannot think of anything more horrible. Perhaps the slaughter of the whales comes close. have Jews forgotten? Never. Like Deaf people whose ancestors were oppressed and those who still experience oppression or discrimination or injustice, it is difficult to forget. I’m not sure people want to forget. I think it is in the remembering that they find their strength and motivation to move forward and fight the injustice and strive to remove barriers.
But these whales…. did they forgive and forget? No one can be sure. But they showed their true nature as compassionate creatures. Perhaps this is too lofty for us humans to mimic. We live guarded lives once we have been hurt, and trust is hard won.
Do these gray whales know something we don’t? Are the more evolved in some spiritual sense? Not sure. All I know is that their behavior truly inspires me to be a more forgiving individual. I hope at the end of my days, I will receive the same compassion and forgiveness.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 8th, 2008
Over 4k pounds of whaling meat are not sold and stored in the freezer. The more we boycott and not buy, whalers will stop because they’re not making $$$.
Please sign the petition to end whaling (slaughter of whales, dolphins and more).
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/encourage-greenpeace-to-work-with-sea-shepherd
Left by Katherine on January 13th, 2008