Join LaRonda in the videoclip below as she explores the intricacies of her experiences with “labels” as a “d/Deaf” person.
Transcript:
Hi. Recently, Barb Digi made a vlog post about whether we should keep the word “deaf” with a small “d” or toss it and use only the term “Deaf” with a big “D.” I’ve put a lot of thought into this topic. I started to leave a comment in response on Barb’s vlog, but I realized I was rather long-winded, going on and on. I told myself, “Geez! Finish already! Make your own vlog to respond.”
As far as labels go, I’m a bit of a rare bird. It’s true, I grew up “hearing,” but when I was 17 years old, I became “deaf.” What’s interesting, however, is how I have labeled myself throughout this evolutionary process and journey into Deafhood.
Right after I became deaf I was lost in the world. I did not yet have hearing aids and did not yet know ASL. I had nothing to rely on except lip-reading for communication, but that was extremely challenging and hard to do. At that time, I referred to myself as “hearing impaired” because I truly felt “broken” back then. I felt I was struggling to get by in the world. It was a very difficult time.
My family referred to me as having a “hearing loss.” As I watched this, I began to accept that is how I would be labeled. So from then on, I started to introduce myself to others by telling them, “I am hearing impaired. I have a hearing loss.” Yet, deep inside me, I loathed the term “hearing impaired.” It just felt so broken and I didn’t want to feel broken!
About a month after I became deaf, I was fitted for hearing aids. They did increase the volume of noise, but they didn’t do much to help with speech discrimination. I didn’t really benefit from them. Still, I did use them for several years before I finally chucked them. I eventually went on in life without them.
I had come to the realization though that even with hearing aids and my lip-reading skills, I still could not understand communication clearly enough to get by on those two communication modes alone. It was a very frustrating time in my life. All along, during those years, I continued to call myself “hearing impaired” because I still felt like I was “impaired” and “broken.” I was not at all happy with that label, but that’s the term I used to describe myself back then.
When I finally realized I could no longer continue life that way, I finally joined an ASL class. That was like my awakening! It was a whole new world! I realized I had another communication option and no longer had to rely solely on lip-reading or be dependent on hearing aids that really didn’t help me. I could now learn to rapidly capture communication in a visual way! I was completely inspired and as a result, I picked up ASL rather quickly! I felt so good about that decision.
During the time I was learning ASL, I tossed out the old label of “hearing impaired.” But I wondered what I should call myself and how I should refer to myself. “Hearing impaired” no longer fit who I was. I thought maybe I could try out the label of “hard of hearing” instead, but technically, I was profoundly deaf, not hard of hearing. In fact, some of my deaf friends had more hearing than I did! Truly, I was deaf as a stone. While I knew the term “hard of hearing” wasn’t exactly accurate for me, I continued to experiment with that label for a time.
Soon, I learned about Gallaudet and I made a decision to attend Gallaudet for 1 semester to figure out just who I was as a deaf person. When I arrived at Gallaudet, guess who my teacher was for my Linguistics class? It was James Woodward, the same person who Barb mentioned in her vlog, the man who coined the terms: little “d” - “deaf” and big “D” - “Deaf.” (A side note: James Woodward is a very interesting character. He goes by the name of “Woody.” He’s intriguing. I liked him a lot.)
That little “d” - “deaf” term was really powerful for me back then. It finally felt like I had the right label to describe myself and it felt like a good fit. My Deaf peers and classmates around me at Gallaudet, those who were born Deaf, went to Deaf schools, etc., had life experiences different than mine. Even though I wanted to belong to the big “D” - “Deaf” crowd, I realized I could not. It was not right for me because I was an “ex-hearing” person who could formerly hear. So, I gladly accepted that little “d” - “deaf” term. In fact, I cherished and clung onto it. It was not “hearing impaired.” It was not “hard of hearing.” Those terms did not fit me. So, I held onto that little “d” - “deaf” term because it worked best for me at the time.
After leaving Gallaudet and after some time had passed, at a later point in my life, I took a job as a School Counselor in a Deaf residential school in Washington state. I worked there for 10 years. Working there was like a baptism for me and an evolutionary process. I had not grown up in a Deaf school, but I went through the Deaf school experience through the eyes of the Deaf children there. As a School Counselor, I had the special privilege to listen to and witness their deepest, innermost frustrations and their greatest joys. I was privy to lots of confidential and personal information. I knew when these Deaf children messed up. I knew when they rebelled against audism. I knew when they grew more aware of who they were. I knew when they cried, failed and succeeded! I shared their joys, their hopes and their dreams. I was deeply immersed into the Deaf residential school culture.
In fact, I began to adopt that culture as my own. My behaviors, my attitude, my perception of the world came from one who worked, lived and breathed inside of a Deaf residential school. I was there for one decade - 10 years! Then I became pregnant with my own child. I became a mom. It was now time for me to leave the Deaf school and raise my son. We soon moved to another state.
But before I moved, I thought of myself much like a Deaf school graduate. I had gone there / worked there / “attended” there for 10 years. Over the course of that time, I noticed a subtle shift in how I perceived myself. I thought less about myself as a little “d” - “deaf.” I had become more like a big “D” - “Deaf.” I noticed this shift when I began referring to myself as a “Deaf Professional.” Everything, my attitude, my perceptions began to take on the world from inside the Deaf school culture. To myself and my Deaf and hearing colleagues, I was a “Deaf Professional.”
Going back to when I moved and let go of my job as a School Counselor at the Deaf school…. I was now a full time mom. I did this for a while, about a year, but wow! That period of my life felt so different! I was lost again! It was as if I had to let go of viewing myself as a big “D” - “Deaf” person. One reason was because I was no longer in that environment. I had put my “Deaf Professional” status on hold so I could focus on raising my kid. In addition, I now lived far away from the city, isolated on a high mountain. It was then I began to realize how much I hungered and longed for the Deaf community. I needed ASL in my life! It was no where to be found. My husband and son are both hearing and while I was teaching my young son to sign and my husband knew some sign language as well, it wasn’t the same. After having experienced 10 years of daily life with tons of Deaf people, the culture and language, life without this constant community felt powerfully different.
It was a huge void; a loss of people, connection, status and identity. Could I continue to call myself a big “D” - “Deaf Professional?”
Some time later, I happened to get a new job, my current job, as a Parent Educator. I chose to work part-time as it matched my son’s pre-school schedule. I accepted this new role and chose not to go back to the professional School Counselor role. The Parent Educator schedule, life-style and role fit my family needs better at that time. When I began working in this job, I took notice that the organization I now worked for advertised that it served “deaf, hard of hearing, late-deaf and deaf-blind” people.
As I began working there, I began to ponder the term “late-deaf.” I had heard the term before, but I had never really explored the word much or how I might feel to wear it. I decided to try it on for size. I began to introduce myself around the community as a “late-deaf” person. As I went along, this word seemed to feel okay to me. A little while into my job, I started to meet some late-deaf people from ALDA - the Association of Late-Deaf Adults. I began to write some articles for the local and national ALDA newsletters and was invited several times to present topics of interest at their local chapter meetings. Yet, I did not join them in their social activities.
It was not because I did not like ALDA members. That wasn’t it at all. I liked them just fine. However, the reason I did not go to their social gatherings was because their attitudes, behaviors, and norms were simply different from mine. The bottom line: I can’t survive without ASL! That’s my preferred mode of communication. Most of these late-deaf folks prefer to lip-read and use their Cochlear Implants and assistive hearing devices to communicate, but that wasn’t me.
I had chosen NOT to get a Cochlear Implant because I do not want a machine or device in my head. It’s that simple. There really is no other reason other than that. I don’t want a mechanical device in my head. I want to be natural. My choices were different than those late-deafened folks who had gotten Cochlear Implants. I have no personal criticism of those who do have CI’s, but it’s just not my preferred mode of communication.
I came to realize that socially, I didn’t really fit with “late-deaf” people like those in the ALDA group. I do understand their exprience of “hearing loss” and “hearing impairment” from having shared that very intimate and similar beginning. Our entry into deafness began with impairment, but that’s not me now. I’m not that person anymore. I have evolved, I have changed, and I have grown in my deaf journey.
So, out the window went the term “late-deaf.” Now, just who the heck am I? Oh, these labels…. these lables…. swimming and swirling around me….
First, and foremost, I am LaRonda: L-a-R-o-n-d-a. Period. That’s me.
Secondly, I am deaf: d-e-a-f. Big “D” - Deaf? Little “d” - “deaf?” Who knows…. I am deaf. Just d-e-a-f.
Those labels are hard to deal with sometimes. Whoo! Ah well…. Thanks for listening.
Bye (ILY - wave)
Thank you for sharing your wonderful journey as a Deaf person. I know many people will find your story fascinating.
Instead of typing a long comment explaining my thoughts on the topic all over again, I want to share the link to the post that ASC did last year on little d and big D… before Barb revisited the topic and probably way before many vloggers/bloggers arrived at Deafread, smile. See the link here:
What is up with the Big-D in Deaf?
Hope our blog will help everyone understand why we think that using the big D (Deaf) is an inclusive term. Suppose a Jewish person lives in China for 10 years and is not around any other Jewish people during that time, should she call herself jewish with a lowercase j? I find it absurd! Of course, you are still Deaf if you are not around Deaf people due to some circumstances.
Once Deaf, always Deaf!
Candace
Left by Candace A McCullough on October 12th, 2007
Very sentiment with your great perception of journey into deafhood. That made me enlightening! Yet, you are the part of our deafhood community. Thank you for wonderful insights to share with us.
Nick
Left by Nick Vera on October 12th, 2007
Hi LaRonda,
The book that Barb DiGi showed in her vlog the other day — I remembered that book very well. I worked on my project for my psychology or communication art class. It was very good project I made for my class. I was going to post it in Barb DiGi’s vlog after I read my project. Unfortunately, I am pretty disappointed that I could not find anything in the storage room. No luck. It must be interesting to find the difference between those 20 years if I still have my project.
I recalled that I wrote about the attitude on these D vs d issue, for what it is based on the “self-centered” culture. Nowadays, I believe our life has changed since we were young.
I believe that the authors (Dr. Tom Humphries and Carol Padden team) has revised the book. I hope one of these authors could response in the v/blog to let us know that they has revised the book. No luck, so far, no news……what a bummer…
I know what you are through in your life, I find it interesting that you could not work with the people who are “lattened” deaf, whatever it calls. They did not fit in you as well as you guys did not work it out. I realized that it depends on the age issue where the people have faced the reality nowadays. For instance, the old person who just lost her hearing in the late age, would not accept the word, “hearing loss.” The old person STILL consider her/himself a hearing person period. We cannot do anything to change her/him. You are right at this point.
A big \ m / to you, LaRonda!
White Ghost
Left by White Ghost on October 12th, 2007
You’re indeed a rare bird!
I think everyone should be allowed to explore themselves and whatever they are comfortable with, it’s okay.
I enjoyed your description of self-exploration and understanding of self in different situations and applying to them.
I love this line:
“A human being that was given to fly…”
That was you.
Thanks, LaRonda
Left by IamMine on October 12th, 2007
Whoa, you have gone through thousands of miles of thinking who you really are with hearing loss term. From my reading your blogs, vlogs and stories you are about to have it published in book, I think you are Deaf! you accept being deaf, use ASL, got many Deaf friends and you felt something’s missing in hearing world if you are there too long. You dont deny, brag or being “meathead” when it comes to hearing loss/late deafnes/deaf/Deaf, you are simple a humble Deaf lady! “Touch Heart” in sign.
Left by deafKathy on October 12th, 2007
Hi Candace.
Thanks for including the link to your post about capitalizing “Deaf” for all Deaf people. I found it very comforting and I could understand the reasoning behind it. It sounded so easy. Yet, as I read the comments from those who left them under your post, I could see that it is still hard for some people to accept doing away with the d/Deaf distinction. I see the pride and esteem behind the concept, and in that, I really liked what you had to say. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m a big fan of yours.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
Nick, thank you for viewing my long post. It means a lot to have people to share my journey with. I appreciate the inclusiveness you offer into the Deaf community.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
White Ghost,
I must make a clarification: I did not say I could not work with late-deafened people. I do work well with that group. I write for their newsletters. I give presentations. I understand their journey as we both had similar entries into our journeys of deafhood. But some of us have taken different routes. I socialize with other deaf people who use ASL. My world view is more aligned with the Deaf cultural view whereas many late-deafened have more of an oral world view, using CI’s and lip-reading, and not many sign. For this reason, I find it hard to join late-deafened social events. Communication for me becomes awkward and difficult because I don’t use hearing aids, CI’s or rely solely on lip-reading as most late-deafened people do.
But this doesn’t mean I don’t get along with late-deafened people. I have some very good friends in the ALDA group. Understandably, those friends happen to be late-deafened people who sign. Those that do not sign, I have not yet had the opportunity to become more intimately acquainted because our communication modes are so different. Yet, I can relate in one way because I do understand their experience of becoming deaf or losing their hearing. We share that experience in common.
I continue to work with late-deafened people in my job today, and as I said, I remain friends and socialize with the few of those other rare bird late-deafened folks who sign. It is just recently in my own evolution that I have recognized that the “late-deaf” label does not fit me as accurately as I thought. So, I continue my journey as a d/Deaf person, and try to be the best d/Deaf person I can be.
Thanks for your comments.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
Thank you, LaRonda for a beautiful journey to share the experiences. I felt like I was walking with you on a journey from a beginning in the darkness to the light. You just chose a right shield and sword to march on! *winks*
I have met few who experienced of hearing loss. I’m glad to be their friend while I was in Gally and then I met them again in about 20 years. I was so surprised how “deaf” professional they are! It enlighed a whole world and I am proud of them!
The word, Hearing impaired annoys me. Last week, one lady told me on VRS that she said to me that there were the front seats are reserved for Hearing impaired. I explained to her that she can use the simple word as deaf. It’s so much nicer to use the word, deaf. She didn’t understand, so the interpreter and I explained to her. Then my family and I went to the Threate and found the front seat…I am so thrilled to see the word written as deaf, not hearing impaired. It’s written: the seat are reserved for deaf.
Once ASL comes to my life, the right key to open my deaf world!
~Deb Ann
Left by Lisa Marie on October 12th, 2007
IAmMine,
I love that phrase too. Thank you for validating my rare-birdness.
With people like you, it’s easy to soar!
Hugs.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
DeafKathy,
I am glad you don’t think I’m a “meathead” about all of these labels. I had to laugh at that one.
I appreciate your support and that of others while I’m on this journey.
As always, thanks for reading me.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
LisaMarie/Deb Ann,
Yes, this journey has definitely been an enlightening one. I think before i learned ASL, I probably carried the proverbial sword and shield to make my way through the hardships and challenges. However, once I learned and began using ASL as my preferred mode of communication, I think I turned in the sword and shield for Galadriel’s Star of Elsar (you know, the light that was given to Frodo in The Lord of the Rings). That light was ASL. It helped show me a brighter way through the “brokenness” and lead me into a feeling of “wholeness.”
I thought your story about explaining to the woman that using the words: These seats are reserved for the “Deaf” was better than the word “hearing impaired” was a good one. Some people would say nothing, but you helped to enlighten others in a way that was non-threatening and they made change.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
I come from large deaf family and is deaf-culturally person with D in my heart….
The moment I watched your blog. Instantly, intuition tells me you are Deaf. Simple put. No deliberate decision.
Beautiful and sentiment journey you experience and continually do so. I like to use your perspective for my advanced ASL class discussion. Let me know.
You are blessed and the Deaf community are blessed to have you, too. You have contributed something uniqueness of youself to the Deaf community.
Don’t ever think about giving up your b/v Logs!
Keep on vlogging.
Left by LS on October 12th, 2007
LS,
You are more than welcome to use my clip in any ASL class discussion. My life is an open book. My experience is one I wish to share with anyone who wants to listen.
Your words touch my heart. Thank you.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
I watched ur vlog. Thank u for sharing this with us. I would love to interview u in documentary film about ur experience with different labels and the transform that u had made from hearing to Deaf.
Smile.
Aidan
Left by Aidan Mack on October 12th, 2007
Aidan,
I would love to be interviewed. My life is an open book! Just let me know where and when.
Hugs.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
Dear LaRonda –
I wholeheartedly thank you for the clarification.
I know it won’t be easy if the late-deafened people, especially, the old-age people who just lost their hearing, to evolve themselves as the “late-deaf” label like you mentioned in this vlog. That is an understandable.
Please continue working with late-deafened people as you are right now.
A big smile,
White Ghost
Left by White Ghost on October 12th, 2007
White Ghost,
Thank you for understanding. I really needed to be clear about the fact that I still enjoy, work with and relate to late-deafened people in many ways. But socially and linguistically, I have shifted to a different place. That’s all.
My grandmother began losing her hearing in her 60’s. By her 70’s she was nearly completely deaf. But because I was going through my own evolution and understanding of myself as a deaf person, she joined me on this journey. I was able to witness her in her older years also make a transition. She did not refer to herself as hearing impaired or even hard of hearing. She often said, “I’m going deaf.” “I’m almost completely deaf.” “I’m deaf, I can’t hear nothin’!” She was a kick. She began learning ASL and used a TTY.
My point is that anyone, regardless of their age of onset or entry into deafhood can go through their own evolution on their journey. Everyone is unique and each journey is very personal.
Thanks for continuing the discussion.
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
I just finished watching your vlog.
I don’t know if I could accept my deafness if I grew up hearing.
People whom I spoke said they wish to hear again… especially to listen to music. That is the universal theme.. to hear the music again.
I think it is wonderful that you accepted your deafness and be very comfortable with it. I just don’t know how you ever got to that point. This is extremely rare.
Take care.
mishkazena
Left by mishkazena on October 12th, 2007
MishkaZena, Thank you.
I can’t say I wouldn’t want my hearing back again. Like other people who became deaf after they were once hearing, I too would not mind having my hearing back, as long as it came back in full. I don’t want to go back to being hard of hearing or struggling to hear. CI’s and hearing aids do not bring back full hearing as many know. So until that time, I would not want to change anything. But would I want my hearing back again, I’d have to say yes. But it would be a difficult transformation after having been on such a journey like I have into Deafhood. I’d be starting all over again.
Good discussion.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
A very good post. I think the inherent “problem” I have with Deaf/deaf, etc is that the labels are to simplistic to convey the breadth of experience possible. We’re both like little square pegs that don’t quite fit into Deaf, or D/deaf distinctions, really.
Left by BEG on October 12th, 2007
BEG,
I agree. No one label sums up our life journey. It’s the quality of the journey that matters, and I couldn’t have asked for a better vehicle for my personal growth.
Haven’t seen you vlogging for a while. Nice to know you’re still out there though. I’d like to know more about you.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on October 12th, 2007
Hi La Ronda,
Im very agree with you very well but I agree with Barb Digi. Same way I feels that way . Im profound deaf. My audiologist reccomed me to have cochlear Implant but Im not preffer with Cochlear Implants — No way for me. I wear two hearing aids but lipreading is not enough for me to understand it . So Im rather to have ASL that make me much easier for me . But I never went to deaf school. So I went to night school in college and I did learn Sign Language and I found out that ASL is much help m e well. I cant surrvie with out ASL.
Thank La Ronda for beautiful Jorney. But I agree with BE very well ..Please excuse me for abt spelling wrong oh well.
Left by Mary Lou on October 12th, 2007
Hi LaRonda,
Glad you had a chance to see the ASC blog on D/d. Remember, the comments to the blog were made one year ago. There were a number of other comments that seemed to be about 50-50 for and against D, but they all disappeared when we had a server crash at the end of 2006. Ouch!
Anyway, as Sharon mentioned in her response to Barb’s vlog, it does seem that people’s thinking has changed a lot since last year. I think with greater awareness of Deafhood, people are more ready now to use Deaf with a big D.
Another thing to consider is that we did a blog, back when there were very few vlogs in DeafRead. In fact, nobody was doing vlogs - those came out after the Gallaudet protest. So, it’s possible that our blog readers were Deaf people who preferred to identify with a small d. With all the dialogue and Deafhood awareness, plus the arrival of more ASL users/vloggers to DeafRead, it may be that this explains the shift of opinion to supporting the big D for everyone.
It will be interesting to see what happens in a couple of years!
Candace
Left by Candace A McCullough on October 12th, 2007
LaRonda!
Wow! My grandma, who passed away at 96, was the hard-headed person. She refused to do things we are now in the modern world. For instance, she refused to use the air conditioning in her whole house except the small one (machine in the window) in the dining room.
Bonding with your Grandmother is now a rewarding journey! May G*d bless you and your family.
Give a big, bigger, biggest hug to your Grandmother for me.
Hugs,
White Ghost
Left by White Ghost on October 12th, 2007
I was quite apprehensive about using D except for title purpose and for exceptional reasons. Until I start to see people start suggesting that no matter whatever a person is, Jewish or Hispanics, captial letter is simply used for ethnicity. I am settled with this defintion knowing that every Deaf person has his/her own journey as being a Deaf with absolute birthright to ‘D’, as long as s/he is not being condescending.
Left by Anne Marie on October 12th, 2007
Hi LaRonda,
Your vlog was inspiring and wonderful! I want to let you know that I used to work with two people — both of them had lost their hearing during their teen years and they called themselves deaf and were fluent in sign language. They felt comfortable in being in the deaf world and embraced deaf culture.
These two people woke up deaf one morning, it was a very shocking experience for them and they shared their stories with me. They never called themselves hard-of-hearing or late-deafened, it was about 15 years ago.
So there are people like you out there and I am glad you are sharing your story in hopes that others who may have a simliar experience will know that there is hope at the end of the tunnel and that they will come to appreciate ASL and deaf culture.
Thanks for sharing your personal story with us!
Left by michele on October 12th, 2007
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us LaRonda. I’m glad you wrote about this.
Just recently, someone said to me that I like labels. During my own journey with progressive hearing loss, the labels have changed or no longer fit as you indicated in your blog. No, I don’t “like” labels; I simply use them to explain my hearing loss and that as a result, I have certain communication needs.
No; I don’t let labels define me; however, I do want to accurately inform others so that they can be aware on how to properly communicate with me. Sometimes, I not only inform, but proudly and loudly announce that I cannot hear “well”; the reason for that is to let a large number of people aware at a particular time so that they all can be informed at once. I have to insert the word “well” at the end; if I leave it out, they assume I hear nothing and then begin to challenge or question my lack of hearing.
I encourage questions so that people can properly label or identify me. I grew up with “hard of hearing” and accepted it; later, I was told to use “hearing impaired”; I wondered what was wrong with “hard of hearing” but since I was told at that time that “hearing impaired” was the more politically correct term, I used it but still used hoh as well. A couple years ago, after finally getting used to the term “hearing impaired” exclusively, I was told that hearing impaired was not too acceptable by many. That confused me and surprised me because I equated that with the term “visually impaired”; I wonder if that is offensive to those who have difficulty with or no eye sight. (if so, please someone let me know so I will not use that term).
Regardless of the label that I used to describe my lack of hearing, I never felt broken, but I have keenly felt being broken hearted. I’ve felt the pain of being broken hearted not because I can’t hear well; I accepted that when I was very little. The funny thing is, sometimes, it is other people who cannot accept that I cannot hear well. Luckily my mother was the best and accepted me as I was and taught me to accept myself and others too whether or not they could hear. That is why it never dawned upon me that “hearing impaired” implied that a person was broken despite it’s obvious term. I could not relate to feeling “broke” despite the many obstacles and adversities I encountered. NO, I still don’t feel broken despite my continuous loss of sound and coninuous struggle to be included and constantly asking for equal communication access in class, etc.
I have felt broken hearted because of how some people behave: I’ve felt broken hearted due to exclusion; I have felt broken hearted when I had to prove I could not hear “well” and standing up against discrimination as well as the cruel things that some people do and say just because someone cannot hear (whether they “well” or at all).
I I know I have a rightful place in this world regardless of the term applied to me. As long as someone uses the term accurately and respectfully and earnestly attempt to communicate with me accordingly, there should be no problems.
But, that is an ideal. Ideally, I think that a person should be accepted in any “place” in the world that they feel most comfortable. In fact, I think it would be ideal to feel comfortable in every place: the hearing world and the Deaf world and the world of the hard of hearing perched delicately in between.
We’re all human and live in one world.
Left by learning ASL on October 12th, 2007
I’m sorry; in my post above, I most certainly meant to include the word “deaf with a small d” to read:
“… In fact, I think it would be ideal to feel comfortable in every place: the hearing world and the Deaf world and the world of the hard of hearing and deaf (with a small d) perched delicately in between.”
To be clear, all I mean is that we all are equal and should be treated equally whether we can hear well, a little or nothing.
Left by learning ASL on October 12th, 2007
A wonderful model story of Deafhood journey! Your journey is emotional content whereas mine is political content since I was already born Deaf. I had to contend with a lot of issues early in life to tell people that it is nothing wrong being Deaf and not to treat me any different. Indeed, this whole small d and big D issue is just silly, really, but there is a population out there that still won’t embrace that identity due to social stigma of being Deaf. Keep pushing success stories and role models out there in the open!
Left by MikeS on October 13th, 2007
I agree with Mike. To me, it is sad that many people are in denial about their hearing loss and try to hide it from others (unless they have a very mild form of hearing loss, they are fooling no one). That must be exhausting for them. I was never ashamed of my hearing loss, not even as it got worse; I never hid my hearing aids and I still don’t. I shouldn’t have to justify to the hearing or the non hearing why I wear them either. While I have very little hearing, I can’t ignore the things that I do hear. Wanting to hear them does not mean that I am negating or denying my deafness. For others to pretend that a person can ignore some things is not practical or fair.
On one hand, I understand that some people are afraid that they will encounter discrimination and might be ostracized and excluded, so they keep their deafness “quiet”. On the other hand, I can’t relate to denying any part of self; especially when it does not shape one’s character; deafness does not make someone less stellar or less intelligent, etc. I’d rather stand up for myself against the ignorant people than accept exclusion; I shouldn’t have to deny myself and be deprived.
I’m sad that some feel or felt broken; I don’t think that anyone should ever feel “less than” or broken because of their hearing loss and deafness. That is an unnecessary burden to place upon oneself. Society can do enough to damage one’s self esteem without us doing it to ourselves. Please don’t think you’re inferior to anyone else.
In addition, there are some people who don’t fully accept all people with varying degrees of hearing loss as being labeled “Deaf”. So those of us with some hearing and/or who wear hearing aids and/or who are not fluent in sign language yet, are not always welcome; that is sad and a shame; that is equal to the discrimination inflicted by the hearing society against the Deaf.
Me, I don’t mind being called deaf or Deaf. My lack of hearing never shamed me. I just want to make sure that I am not misrepresenting myself or confusing others about my deafness (some folks actually challenge my right to call myself deaf because I have some hearing, granted, very little and because I’m oral, lip read when I can and I wear hearing aids (that doesn’t help with speech discrimination). I have no qualms about telling others that l cannot hear “well”; I have a severe/profound hearing loss and that I am or nearly deaf.
I say: I am what I am. Accept me the way that I am………I accept myself. I not only prefer to accept all others, but I prefer to embrace others as well. I just wish that I could get the same respect from everyone else.
Left by learning ASL on October 13th, 2007
LaRonda,
I wish I had read this sooner. I have gone through much of the same with my struggle for identity and the negative feelings surrounding certain labels such as hearing-impaired, hard-of-hearing and even labeling my loss of hearing a “hearing loss” rather than deafness. It’s like I just want to say– OK– I’m deafened!! Let’s not emphasize the LOSS all the time OK?? I call myself LATE deaf because I’ve only became profoundly deaf recently, though I’ve had a progressive deafness most my life. I am learning ASL. I am no where near fluent, but the very first time I was able to sit in a coffee shop and carry on even a basic conversation for an hour, it was like this HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders because it was the first time in years I could talk to someone without worrying about hearing!!! OH! What that meant to me!!! I am mulling over the CI choice right now. My work is definitely being impacted by my progressive deafness. I still plan to continue with the ASL. People who have CI’s are deaf anyway. I respect your choice not to. If I didn’t work, I probably wouldn’t even be considering it.
Left by Kim on November 7th, 2007
Neat vlog, LaRonda!
Btw, curious, how did your changing label identity to Big D affect your husband and the relationship with him??
Nita
Left by Nita on July 10th, 2008
Nita,
To my husband, I am LaRonda. Just LaRonda and Love. No other labels. So my self-perception hasn’t impacted him in anyway.
Thanks for asking.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on July 11th, 2008