I lost a Deaf friend recently. He took his own life. Though he was in pain, he was a shining star — full of LIGHT, and so very LOVED!
He had choices. He just forgot.
This video clip below reminded me that even though the personal demons we wrestle may be many, we can find our way through the darkness and beyond. We have choices and we are never alone. Never.
How GREAT is the LOVE of our CREATOR…..
I miss you, my funny, happy-shiny-people friend.
~ LaRonda
Lyrics to music in background:
Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need,
you’re everything, everything.And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
LaRonda,
Glad to have you back (even though I’m sorry for your loss). I think you provided a very powerful video.
I’m bookmarking that…there should be more of THAT around the Deaf community theatres. I miss seeing those nifty 80s-early 90s media trend that are repeatedly broadcasted on Gally tv as reruns. There really isn’t a lot of those stuff anymore…it’s sad that Media & TV/Theatre stuff is fading somewhat. 
But otherwise, I’m glad there are others out there that continue to stsrive for visual means of communication.
Left by Josh on September 12th, 2007
I am sorry to hear about your friend’s passing. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to add to your sorrow with words that may cause you pain, though it is good to know that someone is sending condolences. Celebrate his life with your memories.
Sending you my thoughts and prayers,
Shari
Left by Shari on September 12th, 2007
LaRonda - I’m so sorry you lost a dear friend. I lost a dear friend too, who ended his life 6/15/07. There are always ways out, never GIVE UP “your own” life.
Hugs
Left by B.A.D. on September 13th, 2007
Beautiful choice of song………..so true!!
Left by B.A.D. on September 13th, 2007
LaRonda,
Sorry for the passing of your dear deaf friend, Bless his heart!!! I lost my first beloved nephew at age 19 on Feb 14, 2005 to the same thing. I believe life’s too short, live one day at a time and love each other like no tomorrow. Miss my beloved nephew terribly to this day as he had a smile that would shine the whole room. He’s happy now without any more pain.
Comfort hugs to you tightly, be yourself my friend…
Susan (Ontario, Canada)
Left by S. on September 16th, 2007
Oh, LaRonda — I am so sorry for your loss and for everyone who knew and loved your dear friend. The video was beautiful and so moving. Thank you for sharing your hope and faith with us.
Left by Rachel on September 17th, 2007
Oh sweet LaRonda, I’m SO truly sorry for your grief n sorrow in losing a dear friend! My heart goes out to you! Gentle hugs! Beautiful lyrics to the song with the video, very moving, tears in eyes! It’s the most terrible thing to go through when one contemplate to end one’s life
LaRonda, you’re so right, that we are never alone, never! There’s hope and there’s light at the tunnel and reach out…take hold of that light! Help is right there if you look up and never give up…fight the good fight of faith!
Left by DeafWoman on September 18th, 2007
At first, death seems so FINAL. Then after awhile you discover that the person lives inside of you forever.
I lost a beloved nephew to alcoholism last year, he was 42 years old. He knew what was happening but could not help himself.
My 10 year old grand daughter signed Amazing Grace at his memorial service, everyone was overwelmed!
I am sorry for your loss.
Hugs, Lantana
Left by Lantana on September 18th, 2007
Thank you all for your kind words of support.
Lantana, I loved what you said about “discovering that the person lives inside you forever” even after death. I appreciate that sentiment.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on September 18th, 2007
LaRonda,
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend, especially so tragically. However, we never know why someone does what they do; sometimes they can’t explain or control it themselves. Not to speculate but perhaps, your friend suffered from depression or some form of mental illness that led to the final choice that they made. That is nothing to be ashamed of; it is an illness that needs treatment and the patients often suffer the effects of mental illness. The only reason why I mention that is because, if that was the case, maybe he didn’t realize or see the choices that they had.
Just know that he knew you loved him. Sometimes the family and friends left behind blame themselves; please don’t do that to yourself; it just adds more pain. Besides, it is not your fault. Just continue to love him.
No matter how much you love them, some people might do or experience things that we cannot understand or imagine. I will not pass judgment; I think regardless of WHY that final choice was made, compassion for you, his family and friends during your grief will help ease the pain. I believe compassion for the deceased is also important too in this case; that might help family and friends when they see that others are not passing judgment on their dear and departed loved ones.
People must remember that if someone is suffering from a mental illness (not saying that was your friends case), it is not about sticking it out or not giving up; sometimes it is about things that they cannot control in that moment whch might lead them to such a final, tragic decision (yet I don’t think it is always a “conscious” decision on their part).
I know……I lost a loved one last year. Please find comfort in how you loved him.
May he rest in peace and may you find comfort in the memories of your happy times together. God Bless you and his family.
Take care.
Left by learning ASL on September 22nd, 2007
Thank you, Learning ASL.
Your words were very special to me. I am finding compassion for my friend and keeping him close in heart. I appreciate the things you shared in your comment above.
Bless you.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on September 22nd, 2007
LaRonda, I appreciate your reply.
Remember, even while in the midst of your grief, it is OK to smile broadly when you think of times you spent together and it’s ok to laugh out loud when you think of something funny that he said or did or that you both shared together. That is, if you feel like doing that. You can share those moments with others if you want; it might lift their spirits and comfort them too.
In my case, I find those kind of moments thoroughly endearing and comforting.
I’m just discovering your blog and I find it fascinating and very informative. I can’t wait to explore the other blogs you posted and information you have here. I can see that I will learn so much from you and other posters. Glad I found your blog.
Thanks!
Learning ASL
Left by learning ASL on September 22nd, 2007
LaRonda,
I forgot to add: cry if you need to; tears can help the healing process too.
Learning ASL…..
Left by learning ASL on September 22nd, 2007
LaRhonda, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. {{{{Hugs}}}}
Left by Karen Putz on September 24th, 2007
LaRonda,
I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.
Hugs to you..
KyDeafie
Left by KyDeafie on October 7th, 2007