The Ear of My Heart » Blog Archive » My Journey Into Deafhood: Finding Grace on The Road Less Traveled ~

My Journey Into Deafhood: Finding Grace on The Road Less Traveled ~

(Ch. 46 of my storyblog of my journey into Deafhood…)

I continued to wonder in the months ahead if my hearing would ever return, but the ENTs (ear, nose & throat doctors), and the audiologists painted a pretty grim picture. Many tears followed that first year after losing my hearing, and I wrapped myself in my own arms often as I grieved.

Photo by: “Tsjeu”

I had to face my own truth: The talented vocalist and musician I had been was gone. I could no longer be that person.

Some time passed, and one day I picked up a book of poetry given to me by my grandmother. As I sat there reading, one poem in particular stood out to me. It was “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost.

Photo by: Seymore Sinn

Frost’s poem was about coming to a split in the road and having to choose one of the paths ahead for the journey. One path was clearly the more commonly traveled one, while the other “less traveled” path was unfamiliar and perhaps more difficult. Yet, in choosing the road less traveled, the poet looks back and knows he had made the right decision, as his journey has been a more personally satisfying one.

Photo by: Roger Smith

I lay there and wondered. I too was at a split in the road of life. However, unlike Frost, I didn’t think I had the choice of which path I would travel. I felt barred from the easy, familiar (hearing) route and thrust down this strange, unexplored, silent lane without a voice in the matter. Still, perhaps I did have a choice about how I traveled this path. I could journey with courage or with fear.

Photo by: Lisa Ruokis

I began to feel something awaken in me, another moment of truth. Though I didn’t understand why, I knew that life was commanding me to embark on a new journey. Ahead of me lay a new path, a journey into deafhood, and I needed to find my way. I would need to search for a new identity along this path, and be open to discovering the reason for my hearing loss. Something deep within me, perhaps the voice of my own soul, reminded me that I was not alone on this journey. This sensation gave me great courage and a sense of purpose.

Photo by: “Jenny”

I was profoundly impacted by this poem. By some grace, it found me then for a significant reason. Reading it helped me decide that no matter how much struggle or frustration my hearing loss would bring, I would strive to make my silent journey a noble one, rather than one full of self-pity. Hopefully, by doing so, when I arrived at the end of my life, I would be able to look back and feel a greater sense of peace.

Photo by: “premasagar”

(Footnote: You have been reading the chapters in my summer storyblog entitled: My Journey Into Deafhood, which tells of the first recognition of my deafness and waking up to a world of silence. It also tells of how I grieved, coped, adapted and then thrived as I learned to embrace my Deaf self. Thank you for reading! The final installment will show on August 8th, 2007. More coming soon…)

Get Shareaholic

Posted by LaRonda on Wednesday, August 1st, 2007 at 4:50 am.

15 Responses to “My Journey Into Deafhood: Finding Grace on The Road Less Traveled ~”

You haven’t lost me. Thanks!

Left by Peachlady on August 1st, 2007

I am still waiting and looking forward to go Deafhood workshop someday here in St. Louis to find some more PEACE!

Left by ASL Risen on August 1st, 2007

Hi LaRonda,

I am curious that you still see your old friends or they already diaspora?

Your stories are still touch my heart.

Gina

Left by Gina on August 1st, 2007

Still reading all the way. Diane

Left by Diane on August 1st, 2007

“and that has made all the difference”

I love that poem. What a compelling metaphor. Thank for sharing your story.

Left by Jeannette on August 1st, 2007

PeachLady and Diane,

Thanks for being some of my true-blood-loyal readers! Mwah!

ASL Risen,

I, too, look forward to another Deafhood workshop. i missed the first ones. But I’ve heard such good things about them and how they touched people’s lives. I did read Paddy Ladd’s book last summer though. I also love Genie Gertz’s summary of what Deafhood means. I’ll provide that link at the end of my storyblog. Stay tuned…

Gina,

I have about 5 close friends I am still in touch with from my hearing high school days. They are the ones that stuck by me and grew along with me as I lost my hearing. But our communication today is primarily through e-mail. We all live in different towns or states. E-mail helped me reconnect with all of y old classmates though as I spearheaded our 20 and 25 year class reunion! Who would have thought deaf old me could be the contact person for 500 hearing classmates? Go figure! Technology is a blessing to deaf people ! Hands waving!!!

Jeannette,

I think you intended this comment for the “Learning ASL” post or the “Deaf at Age 17″ post, but I get your drift. ASL definitely made a difference in my life. Also, those friends who hung in there with me as I embarked on my journey into Deafhood also made all the difference.

Thanks for your comments.

~ LaRonda

Left by LaRonda on August 1st, 2007

I love this story. I too have had a book or a poem placed in my hands at the exact time I needed it. What a blessing.

~ Carolyn

Left by Carolyn on August 1st, 2007

LaRonda

My biggest heart felt support to you in your book writing and blogging… your husband is right that you have such grace… I can only encourage you to share your story….. you offer much to those who meet you… by writing you will be able to touch more people’s lives… i will certainly read your book when it is out and recommend it to my clients…

Best wishes to you and congratulations on taking this bold step… your story is inspiring and will only better the world form its sharing……

Pauline Wakeham

Left by Pauline on August 1st, 2007

LaRonda,

I read some of your blogs on your blog site. I am going to go back and read more. First of all in my opinion it is well written. I love that fact the you are letting the reader in on your personal journey. From what I can see a lot of people write blogs, either humorous, or angry, or serious about how they are the victim,
against either themselves, a situation, a person, or society. Most of these stories never let you in on how they triumphed over their situation, or what spiritual insight they learned. You have done this, and I commend you on that.

To read about the journey you have been on, enlightens those that read it, not just for those who have experienced a hearing loss in the capacity that you did. To have seen, and then one day not see, is a greater loss. The fact that you had to learn a new way to communicate most people would find impossible. To have lost the ability to do something that you loved must have been devastating. But, you found another path to give to the world. You give them hope.

Everyone has a story. We all have a struggle, but you must believe that you can get through it. Your story reaffirms that you must have faith, and that people can learn how to conquer their adversity.

You are a light to others. Keep on shining,

Tere Joyce
(From the Last Comic Standing)

Left by Tere Joyce on August 1st, 2007

You’re amazing…How did I ever get so lucky as to have you in my life, let alone as my life’s partner? I love you, my wife…

Left by Brent on August 1st, 2007

Carolyn,

I love Robert Frost poems. What poems have stood out as meaningful to you?

Pauline,

Your comments are touching to me. Coming form a Social Worker who sees value in my story for her clients means a lot to me. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Tere,

You too are a beacon for others. I love that you commented on my blog post and your words were uplifting to read. I feel honored and humbled.

(For those of you who don’t know, Tere Joyce was on the very first “Last Comic Stanging” on TV. She was selected to be in the finalists. Very talented lady and I was lucky to be friends with her in high school. So tere knows the significant transition I made.)

I appreciate your comments. My best to you in your own continued success!!

My darling husband, Brent,

I love you too. We have been lucky in love. Smooch!

~ LaRonda

Left by LaRonda on August 1st, 2007

“I think you intended this comment for the “Learning ASL” post or the “Deaf at Age 17″ post, but I get your drift. ASL definitely made a difference in my life. Also, those friends who hung in there with me as I embarked on my journey into Deafhood also made all the difference.”

Heehee. No I actually did mean the Frost poem. I thought of the last line, “and that has made all the difference.” It is a compelling metaphor for this part of your story. As you aptly point out.

Left by Jeannette on August 1st, 2007

LaRonda,

You’ll have to bare with me here with my bit of crazy idea. Since you well know that I play acoustic music, I used to do some songwriting stuff too (way before I picked up a guitar). I was wondering: through your enchanting and honest debut of storytelling vis-a-vis Deafhood, if you’d be willing to work with me on creating lyrics and/or provide feedbacks on some of my stuff through personal tales/woes as well as yours (among many other misc Deaffie blogs). I don’t mean to give u any more work than necessary, nor do I believe you have the time for it…but 1 of my goals in life is to find a new way to inform the world/general population about Deaf’s common experience. Why not try to reach ‘em through their ears (literally) and capture their hearts w/storytelling elements. I personally believe in the power of music and had literally been emotional from some songs that I can’t stop listening to.

Lastly, in my opinion, I believe the #1 way to convince people/tell about a culture is movies…hands down. Yet, music comes really close nowadays as a twin second.