(Ch. 28 of my story of my journey into Deafhood…)
After my final dialysis, I was moved from the ICU to a recovery room in another ward, and remained there for the next eleven days. It was within those first 24 to 48 hours in the recovery room that we all began to realize I had a significant hearing loss.
The doctors noticed it when they came to check on me. They would ask me questions I couldn’t hear.
The nurses at the nurse’s station also noticed it when I pushed the call button, but would not respond to their inquiring voices.
The orderlies noticed it when they came to change my bed sheets and asked me to roll over. They would have to nudge me the way they wanted me to roll because I wasn’t following directions.
The kitchen staff noticed my hearing impairment when they came to take my order for meals. Because I couldn’t hear the choices, they started giving me the menu to mark myself.
The nurse’s aides noticed my hearing loss when they came to help me with my bedpan and I wouldn’t answer when they asked me if I needed toilet paper. I was frequently left there to drip dry!
In the next couple of days, I noticed how words were muffled as Mama tried to tell me how my brothers and sisters had kept constant vigil in the waiting room nearby, along with a dozen or so of my high school friends and my large group of extended relatives. I missed the names of those she told me had come and gone while I was asleep or unaware. She had to use the guest book to show me who she was talking about because I couldn’t make out what she was saying.
She wrote down the names of those who had sent cards and left money to help defer medical expenses, and who had made donations to our church in my name. She had to repeat herself several times as she told me of the many prayers that were being said for me around the world, and that the family had really pulled together in unity to support me, and each other, during this time.
We both acknowledged my hearing loss, yet we also both believed it was only temporary and would probably clear up once I got better.
But it didn’t.
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking….
….words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed in the wells
of silence…”
~ Simon and Garfield ~
The Sound of Silence
(Footnote: You are now reading the chapters entitled: My Journey Into Deafhood, which tells of the first recognition of my deafness and waking up to a world of silence. It also tells of how I grieved, coped, adapted and then thrived as I learned to embrace my Deaf self. Thank you for reading! More coming soon…)
Goosebumps all over my arms!! I cannot imagine the sudden profound deafness for a person who once loved singing and lisening to the music. Yet you demonstrated yourself as very bubbly, friendly and positive person before you shared this story.
By the way, I am sooo thrilled to see you doing the stories again when I first opened the Deafread this morning. Big SMILE on my face!!! So thrilled that you’re back! Yes, I can read your stories and keep up with other issues, especially the DBC events.
God bless you! - Kim
Left by Kim on July 26th, 2007
How did you feel when you realized you weren’t hearing anything anymore, with the nurses talking to you, no sounds in the room??
WOW!! (OOPS! I did it again)….you really WOW’ed us…..
Left by B.A.D. on July 26th, 2007
LaRonda,
Profoundly moving story about your loss of hearing. I am looking forward to reading more. Even though I have been born profodundly deaf myself, I can still understand how hearing people must have felt when they have suddenly lost their hearing. My father lost his hearing following the operation on his mastoiditis. He did not enter the first stage of shock until much later when he came into full realisation that he would never be able to regain his hearing ever again. He had never accepted his hearing loss thereafter. I find that you are very courageous. You are a very special person, LaRonda!
Left by Jean Boutcher on July 26th, 2007
Addendum:
My father became alcoholic because he had never accepted his
hearing loss (deafness) until his death.
Left by Jean Boutcher on July 26th, 2007
WOW… When you heard the muffled voice of your Mom did you think it was from the medication? Did you know that you lost your hearing?
I have a ton of questions but I am sure they will be answered in the upcoming chapters.
Left by Vikki on July 27th, 2007
Kim,
I had written parts of my story about a year ago on my blog. I had not yet made video clips to add on my blog yet. i did not get the readership I have now. It is nice to know that since I have made many ASL video clips, people have warmed up to me. I think this helped people open up to consider reading my story. I’m glad you think of me in a positive way.
The transition from hearing to deaf was a big one. More of that story to come! Keep reading! 
B.A.D.,
To answer your question: I didn’t think my hearing loss was permanent. I thought it was temporary and would clear up once I got home from the hospital. So I wasn’t angry yet, though i was sad. I couldn’t hear my family or friends. I was frustrated and a little scared. Kept thinking it would go away. The TV in the room was on all the time while I was in recovery, because by then i had a roommate, an older woman who had a broken arm. I couldn’t hear the TV and this was before catptions were required on all hospital TV’s. So I was definitely frustrated. You’ll learn more about those thoughts and feelings in the chapters ahead.
Jean,
I understand your father’s shock and emotions as a result of his hearing loss. As I said above, the chapters will soon talk about the adjustment period I went through as a result of my deafness. The grieving process is definitely hard to go through. I was fortunate to have my Grammie Lee, who was experiencing age related hearing loss as my partner in this silent journey. Without her, I don’t know how I would have got through it. She claims the same of me. I bet your dad was glad to have you there for him too. I think hearing people, no matter how well they have adapted and accepted their deafness, still grieve from time to time about their loss of identity.
Vikki,
I had no idea the hearing loss was related to the medication then. I knew I couldn’t hear, but thought it was temporary. I did not figure out exactly how I became deaf until years later when i was at CSUN in rehabilitation class. The instructor was going over the medical aspects of what causes hearing loss. It was then that he and I began to put it all together. My mother knew that “mycin” drugs did have side effects of hearing loss. we pieced it all together and then i did further research when writing this “book” and put it together with my medical history. But back then in the hospital bed, I had no idea…
Your questions are welcome. Ask away…. I’ll answer them as I can.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on July 27th, 2007
Hi Laronda
Enjoyed reading your experiences with your hearing loss. I am curious about one thing. Did the mycin drug destroy your sense of balance?? It happened to me when I had to take one of the mycin drugs to stop a serious infection and later discovered it caused most of my vestibular balance. No cure or treatment could fix it.
M
Left by M on July 28th, 2007
Hi M.
No, the mycin drug did not destroy my balance. I would imagine while taking that drug people would feel dizzy and experience tinnitus. But as with other ototoxic drugs, the ringing in the ears may stop once the medication is ceased. however, in my case, the tinnitus is life long, though no dizziness or balance issues.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on July 28th, 2007
You sure are lucky to escape the balance problem. I am stuck with it for the rest of my life, but I have learned how to use my eyes to control my balance. No cane LOL Must avoid some things like walking along the cliffs or climbing the ladder, both I took for granted for years. No serious tinnitus or vertigo at all. I like the nice soft humming occasionally… Look forward to reading some more about your experiences! M
Left by M on July 28th, 2007
Hi LaRonda!
What an amazing story and gift you have given us by remembering it and retelling it so well, and vividly, with such love and grief. I can just feel the sense of it! …. It is the FIRST BLOG I HAVE EVER READ! and it is probably one of the best I will ever read:)
Lots of love,
Melinda
Left by Melinda on July 30th, 2007