(Ch. 22 of my story of how I became deaf…)

Photo by: Anita Gould

As the morning dawned, Mama got up from the vinyl couch at the end of the hospital corridor and walked down to the waiting room that was once again filling with my relatives and friends. Most of them were weeping, having heard that I was near death and fearing that I may have died through the night. That’s the information most people had been given by those who were there last - that it was hopeless and that the doctor had given up.

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Deaf, Family, Grief, Health, Hearing Loss, Meaning, Miscellaneous, My Story, Parenting, Spiritual, Support | 6 Comments »

(Ch. 21 of my story of how I became deaf…)

It was about 2 or 3 in the morning when Dr. Keller finally approached my mother. Mama said Dr. Keller looked like he had lost a war. Everything in his body and in his words seemed as if he had given up. He sat in a chair across from Mama in the waiting room with his head hanging low, his hands clasped together, his elbows resting on his knees. He shook his head back and forth and then he looked long and hard at Mama.

Photo by: “Adriano”

“I don’t know what to do. “I’ve done everything I can. I just don’t know what else there is… I don’t know what is taking her! I can’t find it! I just don’t know…”

Everything about Dr. Keller at that moment indicated his surrender. And then he left Mama wondering if this was the end of me.

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Deaf, Family, Grief, Health, Hearing Loss, Love, Meaning, Miscellaneous, My Story, Parenting, Spiritual, Support | 5 Comments »

(Ch. 20 of my story of how I became deaf…)

Photo by: “Mike”

The respirator was breathing for me and I remember feeling a tremendous pressure on my chest. I was afraid and kept trying to cry out to people, ‘Help me! Help me! I can’t breathe!’ But, I had tubes in my throat and couldn’t talk. The pressure on my chest came from the backed up body fluid, which was a result of my kidney failure. The fluid was pushing my lungs upward and squishing my heart. I literally felt the breath of life being squeezed right out of me. It was my darkest night.

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Deaf, Family, Grief, Health, Hearing Loss, Love, Meaning, Miscellaneous, My Story, Spiritual, Support | 3 Comments »