(Ch. 18 of my story of how I became deaf…)

Photo by: Perry Nelson

Mama said I fought the whole way to the ultrasound room. In my delirium, the hospital walls became a dungeon that confined me. I felt trapped and suffocated. I thought the ventilation bag that the nurse was squeezing for me was blocking my mouth and nose, preventing me from breathing. I wanted it off my face! When I tried to grab the bag away from her, I felt someone at the side of my bed struggle to keep my arms down. I was outnumbered. Eventually, I gave in and put my hands on the nurses hands so I could help pump the bag more rapidly. I needed air!

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(Ch. 17 of my story of how I became deaf…)

As each day passed, things grew more and more bleak. The fluid backed up inside of my body from my failing kidneys continued to build, putting more and more pressure on my lungs and heart. There was great concern about potential respiratory failure as a result, so I was put on a respirator. After testing negative for Lupus, Dr. Keller called in the Kidney Specialist.

Photo by: “Aphrodite”

The Kidney Specialist poked and prodded me some more looking for any clues yet uncovered. I vaguely remember coming in and out of awareness, hallucinating from the fever that inflamed me, and feeling afraid of this doctor. He did not have the characteristic Southern charm Dr. Keller had. He was much too serious and not at all friendly. I remember him leaning in too close to my face and asking me in a low, husky voice, “Have you had sexual intercourse?”

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Deaf, Family, Grief, Health, Hearing Loss, Meaning, Miscellaneous, My Story, Parenting, Support | 8 Comments »