• “She’s breathing down my neck!”
• “He’s spitting in my face!”
• “She’s so cold and withdrawn.”
• “He is obviously uninterested in what I have to say.”

In this video clip, LaRonda discusses “Cultural Use of Space” by comparing and contrasting: 1) Americans and Foreigners, and 2) Deaf and Hearing cultural communication proximities.

Transcript:

Hi. I’d like to talk about a book a recently read. Actually, it’s an old book written by Edward T. Hall called The Silent Language. (Shows book) This book was written a while ago, back in 1959 and was published again in 1981.

The book is about how we, as humans, communicate without talking — without words. It looks at gestures, body language, the use of space and time, etc.

I found one part of this book very fascinating. It was specifically about the use of space. It also focused on different cultures and their use of space in communication.

Here, in America, when a person approaches us too closely, we have an automatic tendency to back away. That’s part of American culture. Americans don’t want people so close that they are breathing down our necks or spitting in our faces when they speak. (grin)

We, Americans, also have a need to protect our personal space, to create boundaries. How we establish those boundaries is influenced by many factors, such as gender, height, age (like a parent toward a child, for example), or even status (like a teacher toward a student). There are a variety of different factors that influence our personal boundaries.

Americans feel that people who get too close to our personal space might become pushy. They may be perceived as flirtatious or wanting sex. Or, perhaps they are perceived as threatening.

But in other countries, like in South America or Latin-American countries, the use of space is different. People from other countries may perceive Americans as appearing cold, distant, withdrawn, uncomfortable or “uninterested in having communication with me.”

There is a parallel here with American use of space. Deaf people also have specific and strict use of space in which we communicate. For example, when a deaf person is communicating to another deaf person, their proximity is farther apart because they need area and space to sign and gesture in their communication. In contrast, when a hearing person communicates with another hearing person, their spacial proximity is closer together so they can more easily be heard. There is a difference between a deaf and hearing person’s use of communication space.

Americans also use space to protect their personal areas. For example, in our work spaces and offices, Americans have desks, computers, tables and chairs that set up barriers or protective fields that guard our personal boundaries. Americans also have fences and gates that surround our homes and guard and protect our families.

I find it so interesting that those kinds of things communicate. That’s “the silent language” Hall wrote about. He was not just talking about body language and facial expressions, but how we set up an area, room or space communicates messages to the world.

It’s funny. Sometimes foreigners will crawl over tables and chairs, or do what they can to get around any barriers so that they can get close enough to communicate. They’re most comfortable that way. Yet, Americans continue to pull back and create the distance that is most comfortable to them when communicating.

It’s the same way with deaf people. Hearing people don’t always understand why deaf people back up when they communicate. Deaf people may seem cold or unfriendly and not interested in communication with the hearing person. But that’s not what backing up is about! It’s just our cultural use of space, and the proximity we need to achieve that comfort level for communication.

It’s also interesting and a bit confusing sometimes when, in our own deaf culture, a deaf person approaches another deaf person too closely and proceeds to communicate. It just feels awkward.

When deaf people want to tell secrets, you might think they would get closer to each other, but actually they don’t always do this. Deaf people tend to look around for the nearest wall or door and step around the corner or behind the door out of view of others and then tell their secret to their onlooking deaf friend. Or sometimes, deaf people will sign smaller and more inconspicuously in their chest or lower belly region so their signs can’t be easily seen. Some might even fingerspell under the table so their friend can look down and read the message. Sometimes, deaf people will use facial expressions only to communicate subtle or secret messages, such as a gaze in a certain direction, or rolling of eyes, and so on.

I teach parent classes. Once in a while, I use a “personal boundary” activity. I start out by setting up two lines facing each other. Men stand on one side and the women stand on the other side. I then tell one group to stay in their places while I ask the other group to slowly walk toward those facing them. When the group standing in place begin to feel uncomfortable, when the walkers are “close enough,” they are to tell them to STOP. The walkers must stop whenever they are told.

As they proceed, various differences in the spaces between themselves and the walkers occur. They are asked to freeze and look around them to notice these differences in boundaries. It’s actually quite interesting. They will surprisingly notice a husband and wife will still have a pretty large distance between them. Most people would assume that a married couple would have closer space and boundaries that were less wide. But a deaf couple must still have a certain amount of space between them so that they can communicate. They have cultural space issues as well as personal boundaries.

Sometimes in these lines, you will find a tall person paired up against a short person. As the short person approaches the tall person’s space, the distance isn’t very significant between them. However, when reversed, and the tall person approaches the short person, the short person will typically extend their hand out to stop the tall person at a greater distance. So we see that height sometimes influences communication and boundary space and comfort levels too.

Sometimes, I, as the Parent Educator, get involved in this boundary activity too. As I approach the Parents/Students, we sometimes notice there is a greater space boundary between them and me (as the teacher), than there is with their own parent-peers. Why? This is due to a perception in status difference. The teacher is perceived by the students to be farther up on the educational ladder and therefore, is kept at a farther distance. It’s an “ah-ha” learning experience.

It’s true that communication happens in many different ways: Facial expressions, body language, even mannerisms, such as a how we shake another person’s hand. Do we shake it tightly or lightly? Do men shake women’s hands? Do women offer their hands to shake or not? There are different cultural requirements and rules about handshaking.

I enjoy teaching new ASL student volunteers about “Excuse-Me Dancing.” This occurs when 2 deaf people are talking, using ASL, and the hearing ASL student has to get through them to another place. In hearing culture, the social etiquette is to say “Excuse-Me” before passing in between two people who are talking. But the ASL student can see that the 2 deaf people are in a deep conversation and they are not giving the ASL student eye contact. So they struggle internally about how to politely say “Excuse-Me” and pass through.

What they tend to do however, is make a little dance as they try to duck underneath the signs and attempt to gain attention to politely pass through. But this is even more distracting to the deaf people communicating. The dancing movement brings their communication to a halt as they look over to the hearing ASL student with deadpan faces. The poor ASL student feels guilty as he or she sheepishly passes through between them.

Actually, these ASL students should simply pass quickly right in between the 2 deaf people signing. That way, the deaf people don’t have to break their eye contact or stop their conversation. They can simply ignore the person passing through.

There is another space issue between deaf/hearing mixed couples. The deaf person in the relationship might need more spacial distance when communicating, yet the hearing person has just the opposite need. They prefer a closer proximity. Sometimes misunderstandings happen in the relationship when the deaf person in the relationship backs away. The hearing person wonders what’s up, and might tease, “Don’t you love me anymore?” But the deaf person would respond, “Oh, no. That’s not it! I need to see you when we communicate! That’s all.” It can be interesting.

But sometimes, people just get close to each other anyway.

Hmmm… that was a fun topic. I hope you enjoyed it. Bye! (ILY-wave)

Posted by LaRonda on Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 at 4:22 pm.