In the 2 video clips below, LaRonda shows the community how she uses Teri Sentelle’s (a deaf vlogger) post about her decision to have 10 children, as a way to open discussion with her Parenting class. (Transcripts below video clips.) Make sure you scroll down for the brief summary at the end of this b/vlog post.

Video Clip 1

Video Clip 2

(Reminder: Scroll down below the transcripts for the brief summary at the end of this b/vlog post.)

Transcript Video Clip 1:

LaRonda: “Hello. I’m here at my work: SJCD (St. Joseph’s Center for the Deaf) in Hayward, CA. I am the Parent Educator/Family Life Coordinator. I’m here today to show you something about how I plan to use a vlog from DeafRead with my parent class. I work with many parents who come to learn more about how to become better parents and overcome challenges, especially between deaf and hearing mixed families.

Behind me, I just set up tables with many computers on them. Can you see them? SJCD recently received a tech. grant and we were recently given many computers, which is so cool! I’m excited to use these computer with my parent class! Finally, we can be on par with technological advances just like the hearing world.

Well, I’ve been thinking carefully about what I would pick to share on the computers with my parent class. Then I remembered Teri’s vlog at DeafDish.com and her story called “Cheaper by the Dozen.” That story is about her decision to have 10 children. I thought this would be perfect and a great way to open discussion with my parent group and see what their reaction is to that story…”

Parent #2 talking to self: “Z-E-R-O? She didn’t want any children? Hmmm…”

Parent # 8 talking to self: “19 years old?” (referring to Teri’s daughter’s age.)

Teri in her own video: “10 children… I never thought I would have 10 children…”

Parent # 7: “Where is this woman from?”

Parent # 7: “Are all her children deaf? No? Oh, I see. Ok.”

Parent # 8: “Another boy?!”

(Parents shake heads in amazement, disbelief and wonder, and smile.)

Parent # 7: “Hmm… wow!”

Parent # 7: “Whoo! I only have 1 son. She has 9 sons!”

(Parent # 2 nods as he follows the vlog…)

Parent # 7: “Hello! Wow! This vlog was so interesting on these new computers! I found this was a very interesting story about this deaf mom and her hearing husband who have 10 children, and I understood that all of those 10 children are hearing! Deaf families do have hearing children and hearing families do have deaf children. It all depends on how things work out in their lives. I do think that these parents can enjoy their hearing or deaf children. Why? Because of LOVE. Family love. That’s what families are all about - LOVE. It doesn’t matter if your children are hearing or deaf. It’s just important to have love for your children. But wow! They have 9 sons and 1 duagher?! Whoa! That’s a BIG family!”

Parent # 6: “That mother feels happy with her own children just as they are: hearing. It’s important how they communicate. The kids need to use ASL. They can learn sign language in high school just like other hearing children do.

Parent # 8: “(She’s lucky her children are hearing.) She doesn’t have to go to IEP meetings at deaf residential schools. They’re so boring! Having deaf children would be a whole lot more work!”

Parent # 1: “This mother wanted to have healthy kids. Of course she gets along by love and support from her husband. Her husband is probably strong with his own beliefs and values. It seems like it would be pretty easy to care for all of these children because most of them are the same gender. Except for the 1 daughter, they are all boys. The boys clothes would be the same, knowing what to expect from boys would be the same. There is no real big difference.”

Parent # 5: “This mom liked and hoped for another girl, but it was a guessing game, and she kept having boy after boy after boy! Even the last one was a boy. It must have been hard for her to go through all those boys and just 1 girl. If it was me, I think that’s enough. No more! I don’t think she should try for more. Why? Maybe she would still not have girls. Maybe should couldn’t have girls. Plus, maybe it costs too much money!”

Parent # 4: “I want to add to what she recently said. If that mom tried for one more, it would probably happen that she would get another boy again! You never know. It might just happen. But, if she really wanted more children or tried for another girl, but still got another boy, I don’t think she would feel depressed inside. I think she would think positive and that she could accept another boy if she decided to have more.”

Parent # 6: “I think the reason they had so many children is that because that mother herself, wanted another girl. She kept hoping for another girl, but oops, she got all boys after that. It makes you wonder why she got all boys and only 1 girl! Hmmm… Is she happy? I think so. It seems like she is supportive with her boys. She talks with them, she has fun with them, and enjoys her children. They go out, travel together, support each other. The parents help the children and try to meet their needs, like providing them with food, a house, many different things to set them up for their future. That mother looks like she enjoys it.”

Parent # 2: “Wow! The mom got pregnant a lot! She had so many boys! But she wanted some girls. Girls are soft, gentle and easy. She could teach them how to cook and prepare them for their future so they would grow. But she got boys. I think she should have had 5 boys and 5 girls. (chuckle) I want to have daughter myself. I need daughters.”

Parent # 3: “Of course, she was a little paranoid that she might be cursed. She thought maybe she was cursed because in the past she dated many guys and maybe that made her cursed with boys. Maybe she was joking, but somewhere back in her mind she maybe did wonder about being cursed, and she shared that with us.”

Parent # 7: ” I think most people would expect that after the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th baby boy, you would probably get a baby girl, or maybe even after the 5th. But she kept having boys after the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th! She was stuck with it and decided that’s enough. Time to finish! She stopped. She had no more choices.”

Parent # 3: The irony is that she was trying to have another girl, but other people thought she was trying to have a “deaf” child because both parents were deaf. But that’s not why she kept trying. She was really trying to have another girl.” (Teacher clarified that only mom was deaf. Parent # 3 nodded, “Oh.”)

Parent # 1: “The reason she decided to stop having more babies is because of her health. It would’ve been more challenging. That’s the point when she reached her limit and said, ‘Enough.’ ”

Parent # 6: “Her husband probably has a good business or has developed a good job with good money to support the family. He’s probably a guy who cares about his children and supports his wife.”

Parent # 3: “I feel their relatives, in-laws and friends and babysitters also support them. Early in their marriage, when this woman became a mom, she wasn’t a housewife/at-home mom. She went to work and she worked until her 8th child was born. Then when they moved to California, that’s when she became a housewife/at-home mom. This shocked me! I thought that most women, after they had their first or second babies automatically became housewives/at-home moms. But this mom showed that she finally stayed at home and became a housewife when her 8th baby was born. Hmmm…”

Parent # 1: “(I think it’s okay to have 10 children) as long as they can handle that kind of obligation, truly support their family and bring food home on the table.”

Parent # 7: “Understand that families who support each other, keep a positive outlook, who check in with each other and provide each other with feedback, and remain open to feedback from other people — can be healthy families.”

Parent # 3: “It’s also important for parents to be able to bond with their babies and children. Once that bond is in place and healthy, then it’s okay to go to work. Plus, children can learn how to gain trust in another caring adult who cares for them while the parents work. If this is set up well, it should all work out.”

Parent # 4: “A parent could also ask their own mother or father if they wouldn’t mind babysitting their children while they go to work. Then, while at work, they could call to check in with their family to make sure everything is okay. That could work.”

Parent # 7: “I’m sure that mom is busy from the moment she wakes up in the morning. She has to dress and feed her children, and she probably has many other things to do to get them ready and off to school. Then once they are at school, she can sit back and rest for a few hours. Then in the afternoon, when the kids come home, then she probably gets busy again for the rest of the evening, until late at night.

Parents # 3, 4 and 5 shake their heads: “No, no, no. There is no rest. Know that the mom’s job continues and she remains busy throughout the whole day.”

LaRonda: “It would be interesting to see more of that (Teri’s) kind of vlog from you at DeafRead or from other blog or vlog communities. I would like to share your experiences and stories with the parents in my parenting class. I think it’s really important for deaf parents to have good role models and show that deaf people can become wonderful parents! So, I encourage you to make more blogs or vlogs about those kinds of stories, the kind that share your experiences with your children.”

Transcript Video Clip # 2:

LaRonda: “This is cool! All of the parents are viewing Teri’s vlog! Farout!”

LaRonda: “What did you all think about that video clip?”

LaRonda: “What do you think are some of the challenges a mom with 10 children might have?”

LaRonda: “Who do you think she has for support to help her with her 10 children? Could she do it alone? Doubtful. So who do you think she might have for support?”

Parent # 8: “They have a large Irish family. Maybe support from her family. Irish families are strong. They’re all Irish.”

Parent # 3: I think she couldn’t rely only on herself, but rather, she relies on a regular schedule for the children and from family support.”

LaRonda: “People in the deaf community don’t often have family support. Why is this?”

Parent # 7: “Families with deaf members tend to be small in numbers. There are few people to understand or support their needs. Hearing people in general get more support from places like internet, books, etc. They are able to access all kinds of information that deaf people have limited access to. Deaf people don’t know a lot of this information. But the world does have much support now for deaf people. We just need to check out internet to look up information. Or, we could talk with our other deaf friends or roommates. We just need to ask for information we need and we will receive a lot of information if we want it.”

LaRonda: “Why are you here in parent class at SJCD? For support! You will meet each other and begin to build a supportive network. Right?

LaRonda: “How will you stay in touch with each other? How will you remain in contact with one another?”

Parents all reply: “Through computers. Computer contact helps a lot… We know how to contact each other…. We could ask you…. Phone… Contact through computer… Use VP… Text pagers…”

LaRonda: “Or through e-mail. Right. So what that means is that when you leave here, you will have formed tight friendships. You’ll have gotten to know each other for 10 weeks, or maybe more, for those of you who plan to come to more classes. When you leave, will you let those friendships just disappear? It’s important, as you come here, if you want to develop supportive connections, start to exchange your contact information with each other, such as your e-mail address, your text pager address or your VP number, that is, if you feel comfortable doing that. The point is to reach out to one another. One parent here just had a baby! You all should send a ton of email congratulating this parent! Check in, ask, ‘How’s it going?’…”

LaRonda: “So far, these parents have discussed their thoughts about Teri’s 1st video clip (Cheaper by the Dozen). They’ve had a very interesting discussion so far. Now they are watching Teri’s video clip entitled, “Me Superwoman? Not!” They are really fascinated. It’s so cool!”

LaRonda: “Do you have any other thoughts about this video clip?”

Parent # 4: “She came out in her towel and said, “oops!” then walked away from the camera. After she changed, she came back and said, “Hi!”

Parent # 7: “In this clip, she gave feedback about how keeping a positive outlook has lead her to have a good life.”

LaRonda: “Right. She kept faith and a positive mind frame. That helped her make it through those frustrating and hard times.”

LaRonda: “Yes, she was clearly more busy with 10 children. I think thats why she came into her video clip dressed in a towel with her hair wrapped up in a towel too, and said, “oops!” She wanted to show us how she has to juggle her time. When does she find time to make her vlog? She’s dressing that way to make a point and show us that she is not a superwoman, but actually has a very busy life. Also, she walked by with the baby in her arms and told us to hold on for a minute. She needed to put the baby to bed first before she continued her vlog post. Baby probably fussed, but… Clearly, Teri is showing us that she has a long list of things that keep her busy and she has a lot of things to do.”

Parent #1: “I think this is very important information for many of us. Why? Because it’s about the importance of following a schedule. That’s really the key. If you are a single parent, but you follow a regular schedule with your kids, then it will be easier for the children. It’s important to emphasize that there is a schedule we follow for meal time, nap time, etc. With a schedule, things will fall more easily into place. It’s all about having a schedule, but many of us don’t know how to set up and follow a schedule, or we ignore it or think it’s not important to have. Maybe the children might fuss or complain about it. But we guide them best by helping them follow schedules. End of story.”

LaRonda: “It can be very chaotic without daily routines.”

LaRonda: “Daily routines help families build trust. We need to practice these routines over and over. Like with naps. Nap time should be the same time every day. Bedtimes should be the same every day as well. Following routines over and over and over does help children and parents build trust in each other. When families trust each other, parents gain confidence in raising children successfully.”

Parent # 3: “If I were single and lived alone, I might feel like I could live day to day. But if I had 10 children, I would have to plan a schedule ahead of time.”

LaRonda: “Ok, would you help me set up the the next clip? We’re going to view “Cheaper by the Dozen, II.”

Summary: So this is where we ended. As you can see from the parent discussion, Teri’s video clips stirred up lively responses and was a great way to begin our parenting module together. As a result:

1. Gender expectations were challenged and discussed.
2. Communication issues in deaf/hearing families, being open to giving and receiving feedback, maintaining a positive outlook and accepting children regardless of their gender and regardless of whether or not they were hearing or deaf, was also looked at.
3. Support from one’s spouse, extended family and community was viewed as a necessary ingredient for healthy families.
4. The importance of using schedules and routines with children to help build trust in families was also a key point in the discussion.
5. In addition, ways for parents to grow supportive connections with others in the deaf community was also highlighted.

We will continue to discuss thoughts that were raised from Teri’s vlog and link this to research-based, positive parenting concepts. The outcome will be that these parenting classes specifically designed for parents in the deaf community (along with the use of Teri’s vlog and maybe others like it down the road, and along with positive parenting techniques they will continue to learn) will be that parents will feel more confident about raising healthy, safe and successful children regardless of whether they are hearing or deaf, build stronger families, and form more supportive networks within our deaf community!

Photo by: Deaf RED Bear

I LOVE my job!

I am extremely grateful to Teri Sentelle for making her video clips on her parenting experience. (BIG HAND WAVES to Teri, her husband and her family!!), as well as to the parents who allowed me to film them as they reviewed and discussed this video. This is how we, in the deaf community, can use quality vlogs and blogs for healthy and positive educational purposes across cultures, ages, genders and lifespan! And this is how I spread the word about the concept of making and viewing more vlogs in the deaf community! These parents left eager to check out DeafRead, DeafPulse and other vlog/blog communities. Whoo-hoo!!

* The above video clips were shown with permission of all participants in the parent class for educational and marketing purposes. If you have any questions about SJCD’s Parent Education Program, please contact me (LaRonda Zupp) by using the Contact Me box on my sidebar. Otherwise, feel free to leave your comments about these video clips in the comment box below. Thanks!

Posted by LaRonda on Sunday, April 29th, 2007 at 9:41 pm.