Toward the end of my hospital stay, I finally got to see my little sister, whom we affectionately call “Tootsie.” Tootsie, who was then 7, had not seen me since the morning I left for the hospital nearly two weeks earlier. Though she had been in the waiting rooms, the hospital had strict rules about having children in the patient’s rooms, which she and others thought was absurd! I guess hospital staff think that children touch everything and they might play with buttons and dials in hospital rooms, which could be hazardous to the patient. But my little sister was not the kind of kid who would mess with hospital equipment. All she wanted to see and touch was me!
I’m not sure how she did it, by my mother finally found a way to sneak Tootsie into my recovery room for just a few minutes to see me. Maybe she was smuggled in by walking in between my step-dad and my brother who also came into visit. How she got there wasn’t important. The fact that she was there made us both very happy. My little sister and I are very close. When we saw each other, we immediately embraced.
My absence over the last couple of weeks had impacted her in a different way than others. We had shared a bedroom together at home for years. She told me she slept with my step-sister or my brother on some nights while I was in the hospital because it was just too hard for her to constantly stare at my big, empty bed.
She began telling me that she was one of the few people who were not allowed to see me because of her age, and she balked at the injustice. She explained how she had to rely on facial expressions and body language of those who saw me because she couldn’t understand the medical terms they were using. Though Mama tried to reassure her that I was doing better, she needed to see for herself that I was okay.
Fighting back her tears, my little sister finally said, “Sissy, I was so scared! I thought you would die!” I told her I loved her and that I was going to be okay. We hugged again. Then my mother held Tootsie close while she buried her head in Mama’s embrace.
My younger brother, Martin, then 16, also came forward and gave me a long hug. At a loss for words, he simply looked me right in the eyes and told me quite seriously, “Never scare me like that again!” We laughed and hugged. It was the strangest sensation as I sat there with my siblings. It was clear that they were seeking closure. It was as if I had been away at war for years, or on some long and daring journey. Now they were ready to welcome me back and end their long and mournful vigil, glad that I had finally arrived home safeguarded.
Then my brother and sister began to chit chat with me. I focused on their mouths as they told me it was over 100 degrees outside and how lucky I was to have been in my air conditioned hospital room for so long. It dawned on me then that I had no idea what day it was. When I asked them, I was surprised to learn how long I’d been in the hospital. I had been there 2 weeks so far! The summer was passing me by!
I brought up college registration once again to Mama, and she and my step-dad laughed telling me not to worry about it and that we would deal with it when they got me home. “You just get yourself well and out of here,” Roger bellowed.
My name is LaRonda Zupp.
I am Deaf. Welcome to
"The Ear of My Heart."
LaRonda,
I just started reading your blog. I glanced at it earlier and now I’m sitting down to read your inserts from the weekend of the 14th. Yours is the second blog I’ve ventured; the first being my niece as she traveled for 6 months in South America.
First off, I enjoy your style of writing immensely. Your words create pictures in my mind. Because of that, I found the use of pictures on your blog more than I would want as I like to formulate my own pictures. While some obviously make a story visually interesting to read, I, if I can be frank, feel you can cut back on some. For instance on this chapter when your sister comes to see you in the hospital, I would omit the hand in hand photo. I didn’t get the one eye photo (your sister looking at you?) and the deer photo. The last photo of the kids playing, takes away another angle which I would like to hear more of: feelings of confusion, fear,….waking up in the hospital and finding out you were clueless to have already been there for 2 weeks? Wow…what was that like? Go deeper. This is what I feel after just reading two excerpts from the weekend.
Again, I think it is wonderful, amazing and will be so worth your time to contribute a book on this journey you’ve been through. I don’t think of you as having been hearing at one time and this will complete the picture for me. I’m curious as to how and in what manner, your hearing loss has affected your personality, your style of being in the world with yourself and others. I know what you write will illicit many feelings in your hearing impaired readers and I am eager to hear more my friend!!
Keep on writing! You have a wonderful gift with words.
Hugs, Lorraine
Left by Lorraine on January 15th, 2007
Thank you Lorraine, for your comments.
I appreciate the feedback on the pictures. I find so many wonderful photos on the Flickr website for creative commons use. When I find a picture that brings forth a certain emotion, one that captures my feelings and experience beyond my words, I have embedded it within the story. Some of the photos are beautiful. Some are powerful. Some evoke feelings of innocence, hope or fear.
Your point is well taken though. I may be over-using them and not leaving enough room for the reader to build their own images. Again, this is helpful feedback for me.
As for your curiosity about how my hearing loss has affected my personality and my style of being with myself and others in the world, you will find those answers as you read from the beginning of my story.
Just go to the side bar and click on the “My Story” category. Scroll down to the “Previous Entries” until you find the beginning: “The Initiation” and read from there.
Feel free to read the comments of others as they appear on each blog. In this way, you can see how my blog effects other readers. I hope this blog will generate further interest in my book to come.
Blessings ~
LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on January 15th, 2007
LaRonda,
I love the pics! I think it’s amazing how you found so many that really capture the feelings behind what your writing about. Not too many at all in my opinion. They are both insightful and visually inspiring. Great choices!
Carolyn
Left by Carolyn on January 15th, 2007